chapter 18

Chapter 18

After Dad left, Cheng Yubai became the only adult in the family.

It was 1998. A high school diploma was no longer worth much. Cheng Yubai refused to touch the money Dad had left behind, but for the time being, he couldn’t find a decent job. So, after a brief consideration, he decided to do manual labor at a construction site.

It wasn’t just because he could earn money-more importantly, it made it easier for him to take care of me.

But the work was truly exhausting.

So, in those first few days after Cheng Yubai started, I cried all the time.

I cried when I saw the scrapes on his body, cried when he collapsed into bed from exhaustion, even cried when I saw his dusty, worn clothes after work.

I couldn’t bear to see him so tired, so I started learning to cook and to do laundry. But Cheng Yubai refused.

“Manman, you shouldn’t be doing these things.”

He took the half-washed clothes from my hands, his expression so calm that I thought he was angry.

So I asked tentatively, “Are you mad at me?”

Cheng Yubai paused, then turned to look at me and shook his head. “Manman, I will never be angry with you. I just… never mind.”

He stopped himself, then placed his hand on my shoulder, looking at me with unwavering seriousness. “In any case, I swear to you, we won’t always live like this. Do you believe me?”

I looked at him and nodded hard.

“I do.”

Finally, Cheng Yubai smiled, pinched my cheek, and said in a light tone, “Hungry? I’ll go make dinner.”

Not wanting him out of my sight, I dragged a small stool to the doorway and watched his tall figure busy in the kitchen. After more than half a month at the construction site, Cheng Yubai had tanned and grown thinner, but he was also much sturdier.

Now, he was truly an adult.

The hands that once held a pen were now covered in layers of calluses, and his not-so-strong arms could already carry the weight of our whole family.

And I couldn’t do anything.

At that moment, I realized with absolute clarity that the only thing I could do was study hard.

I should study seriously.

For Dad and Cheng Yubai, but even more for myself.

After dinner, I quietly returned to my room and pulled out my textbooks to review.

Suddenly, a faint meowing came from outside the window.

Looking up, I saw a few familiar stray kittens crouched in the flowerbed, tilting their heads and licking their paws.

Dad had been a good man all his life.

Honest, kind-whenever someone was in trouble, he’d do his best to help, and he was just as good to the kittens.

I used to sneak out our homemade dried fish to feed them. When Dad found out, not only was he not angry, he even worried that the dried fish was too tough for the kittens to digest. He started buying small fish from the market so they could eat more easily.

Thinking of him sneezing from allergies while feeding the cats, I couldn’t help but smile.

But the person feeding cats by the flowerbed was gone.

A heavy sadness swept over me. My nose stung and my throat felt as if a small stone was grinding away at it.

But Cheng Yubai’s presence eased the pain a little.

Bathed in moonlight, he squatted by the flowerbed, opened a plastic bag of small fish, and the kittens meowed, circling around him.

Under the streetlamp, his movements as he fed the cats were especially careful and patient.

I blinked away my tears, steadied my emotions, and turned to the next page of my textbook.

Life always has to go on.

From that day on, the person feeding the cats by the flowerbed became Cheng Yubai.

Under his attentive care, the kittens grew rounder and healthier, and I was doing much better than before.

That New Year’s Eve, Cheng Yubai took me back to our hometown.

After clearing the weeds from our parents’ graves, we lit firecrackers and knelt to place stick after stick of incense. Amid the crackling explosions, I stared blankly at the swirling ashes.

I wondered if Dad and Mom were doing well over there.

I lowered my head, said nothing, and silently tossed a thick stack of colorful paper marked “Bank of Heaven and Earth” into the fire.

Dad.

So much money, such a big house, such sweet candy-

Manman burned it all for you.