chapter 7
2024-6-15 to 2024-6-17.
Phase Three (Part One).
[Why do those closest to us leave? Because I want to go ahead to the next life and prepare a home for them.]
Xiao Qin’s voice comes from off-camera: “Sister Zhu Yuan, isn’t this a bit much? You want me to go home with you?”
“It’s just two days. I want you to record my life. To call it a record is probably also a kind of keepsake-I want to leave something for my parents.”
They’ve only enjoyed a few years of happiness with me.
And now, at this moment, the old must bury the young.
“So what identity should I go as?” she asks cautiously, “How about saying I’m your assistant?”
“Friend.” I smile at her. “Aren’t you?”
Xiao Qin’s sobs come through the camera, reaching deep into my heart.
“It’s so wonderful, Sis. I can even be your friend.”
Just thinking about my parents crying makes my heart ache too.
“I’ve thought of so many ways to tell them the truth. But I’m still scared.” I drive, taking her home with me. “You know, when the doctor first told me I only had one kind of cancer, I locked myself in my room for two days. When I came out, I’d made up my mind-I would hide it. I thought, with just one cancer, maybe I could face it alone, maybe even beat it. But later, I realized I was running out of time. I couldn’t keep up with how fast it was spreading.
“Don’t cry, or the camera will shake. If you cry too much, my parents will think I bullied you and beat me up.
“There are always regrets in life, aren’t there?
“What can you do? Money or no money, there’s no solution.”
My parents were already waiting at the door.
They habitually help me with my luggage: “Just this one bag?”
“Hey, Zhu Yuan, it’s already hard enough for me to get two days off.”
My mom immediately starts fussing: “Why have you lost so much weight? Is the food on set that bad?”
“Yang Yun, the new show wants me to lose weight. This time I’m playing a girl from a poor family. If I’m chubby, I won’t be convincing.”
“What kind of show makes you lose so much weight?” She grabs my arm. “Look at you, your bones are sticking out. Other people’s kids don’t get pampered like this.”
“Alright, when this show is over, I’ll take a long break. Then, Yang Yun, you’ll be in charge of making me delicious food and fattening me up, okay?”
My dad chimes in: “Hurry up and come inside. Are you all just going to stand at the door and get photographed?”
I laugh out loud: “Zhu Yuan, you’re even wary of paparazzi now.”
“When you quit the industry, I thought I could finally go out and buy groceries without sneaking around. But now you’re filming again, so I have to be careful. Just goes to show, you can’t guess what women are thinking-it changes all the time.”
Xiao Qin follows me in: “Hello, Uncle, Auntie. I’m Sister Zhu Yuan’s friend.”
“Such a sweet girl, but why are you so skinny too? Come to Auntie’s house, Auntie will fatten you up by a couple of pounds.”
“Great, thank you Auntie.” Xiao Qin grins. “Sister Zhu Yuan told me your cooking is amazing. I’ve been wanting to try it.”
One sentence, and the four of us freeze.
I put my hand to my forehead.
I really forgot to warn this girl in advance.
My mom’s cooking is… experimental, to say the least. It’s definitely not delicious.
My dad is the real cook, but our whole family always says it’s my mom who cooks.
I reach out: “Yang Yun, I praised you so much. Shouldn’t you give me a red envelope?”
“Let your dad give it. I can’t bear to. I’m saving my stash to buy you candy.”
The atmosphere is so warm.
I suddenly think of my childhood: “Yang Yun, you spoiled me so much when I was little, I got so many cavities, you know? Why are you still trying to ruin me now?”
The two of them make a whole table of dishes.
“My goodness, Zhu Yuan, am I a pig?” I criticize their cooking. “Are you planning to eat leftovers for days after I leave? I’m telling you, this is unhealthy and unscientific. Promise me you won’t do this anymore.”
After I say it, I freeze.
It sounds just like a last request.
My mom taps me on the head with her chopsticks: “You’re not even grateful. You called to say you were coming home, and your dad got up at five to buy groceries.”
I clutch my head and wail.
After Xiao Qin picks up her chopsticks, she says sweetly, “Auntie, your cooking is really delicious.”
“Daughter, your friend is reliable.” My mom is rarely this happy. “If you like it, eat more. Tomorrow I’ll have your uncle… buy more groceries.” She almost slips up. “Auntie will cook for you again.”
“Okay!”
After dinner, I lie on the sofa, zoning out.
My stomach hurts, really hurts.
My parents are busy cleaning up the dishes.
“As soon as I come home, I get to be the boss. They won’t let me do anything, say I’m their little princess. They say I work too hard outside, so I should just relax at home.”
“Sister Zhu Yuan, your family atmosphere is wonderful.”
“Yeah.” This is still the old house we moved to after I got famous in the entertainment industry. Even after I bought a new house, they never moved. “The old house is a bit small. Tonight, you can sleep with me, okay?”
“Really?” Xiao Qin’s excited eyes are unmistakable.
She even blurts out, “Wish Club, I’ve fulfilled your dream! I’m going to sleep with Sister Zhu Yuan!”
When the pain passes, I’m a bit tired, and I fall asleep on the sofa.
When I wake up, Xiao Qin is still watching me, a blanket covering me.
It’s already getting dark.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?”
Xiao Qin’s voice is soft: “I couldn’t bear to. I watched you for two hours. You’re so beautiful.”
After dinner, Xiao Qin and I each go to wash up.
The phone on the stand in the living room records everything that happens.
I come out of the bathroom.
My mom finally can’t hold back her worry and asks me:
“Daughter, tell me, what’s really going on? Why is your hair gone?”