chapter 16
Extra-Xiao Qin
I brought the first letter to Sister Zhu Yuan’s parents.
The elderly couple seemed to have aged ten years overnight.
Their hair looked even whiter.
“This is from Sister Zhu Yuan,” I said. She had sealed it well, and I would never pry into someone else’s privacy.
Zhu Yuan’s mother took the letter, set it casually on the table, and didn’t open it right away.
“Tell me, was she in a lot of pain at the end?” Zhu Yuan’s mother couldn’t help herself and started to cry.
I cried with her: “She said she was taking painkillers, so it didn’t hurt that much.”
I lied.
The painkillers were useless.
She broke out in cold sweats from the pain, even vomited blood.
“That’s good, that’s good,” Zhu Yuan’s mother seemed comforted, “This child, she’s always been one to share joy and hide sorrow. But did she really think that if she hid it for a while, we wouldn’t be sad later?”
I couldn’t say anything. Even though, in her final days, she spent all her time with her parents.
But the bitterness of it all-how could it ever be put into words?
“Actually, I knew she was sick long ago,” Zhu Yuan’s mother said, shocking me into looking up, “Before you ever came to our house.
“She’s my daughter-how could I not notice the changes?
“She got so thin, quit acting even though she loved it most, couldn’t hide her pain on her face, even lost all her hair. I knew she didn’t want us to worry, so I pretended not to know anything.
“Her father was afraid she wouldn’t get another chance to eat, so he worked desperately to learn all sorts of recipes.”
Now it was my turn to sob uncontrollably.
I couldn’t understand, in those final moments-
One person fought desperately to hide the truth.
The other two did the same.
Who suffered more?
Fortunately, in the end, it was her parents who were with her.
Actually, I still have many letters in my bag that I haven’t delivered.
I’ll send one to her parents every month, just as she asked, until I can’t send them anymore.
She said: “My time with them is so short, but at least the letters are new, and they’ll have something to look forward to.”
Han Xu-she only left him one letter.
I didn’t see him read it, but I knew this man cried behind my back.
“Han Xu, she said she hid a gift at your house. Go look for it.”
It was a photo album, their growth record.
She spent an entire day making it.
As for Lu Xiao.
He got three letters.
I once thought about not giving them to him out of spite, but in the end, he hadn’t really done anything wrong.
After the video came out, he lost a lot of weight, and looked dispirited.
I’ll send him one letter a year.
When the last one is sent,
Zhu Yuan will be three years old, won’t she?
Yes, this is what Sister Zhu Yuan called: the secret that cannot be told.
About ten days later,
I received a package.
Inside was the latest model camera.
Zhu Xiali, I hate you.
But I miss you so much.