Chapter 15

Chapter 15

How do you get someone from another world to use an Enema Solution correctly?

That was a good question.

Qin Ying had considered many methods along the way, but she ran into difficulties during the simulation process for each one.

Given the size of the little people in the World in the Box, the primary issue was how to administer the medicine.

As she walked under the sun, her forehead dripping with sweat, she thought of syringes, macaroni, and even… triple-bore milk tea straws.

But in the end, she rejected them all; the sizes just didn’t match.

Even if she took a triple-bore straw apart, a single tube would be enough to turn a little person’s rear into a blooming sunflower.

After thinking for a long time, the Supreme Deity had no choice but to tell Han Lie to gather the craftsmen of the World in the Box to solve the problem themselves.

“We can’t make anything decent on short notice, but using hollowed-out thin bamboo twigs as a makeshift tool should work just the same… probably.”

Outside, rice was being distributed. Han Lie sat alone on his knees in the watchtower at the right corner of the Commandery Governor’s Mansion, a brush in his hand and three or four bamboo slips by his side.

Qin Ying’s highly uncertain tone made his recording movements slow down considerably.

The Supreme Deity liked to ramble, and her voice was truly pleasant to the ear.

It was already quite down-to-earth that the Supreme Deity’s world also had chopsticks.

Now, the Supreme Deity wanted to give them mortals a medicine to be inserted into their backsides. The Supreme Deity was truly…

Thoughtful? Or perhaps benevolent?

Han Lie’s mind was a muddle; he didn’t know how to describe it.

A drop of cold sweat slid down his cheek.

“Anyway, just make do. You all have to learn to use your own brains,” Qin Ying finally decided. “You can’t just hold out your hands and ask the Heavens for everything.”

Just as Qin Ying finished speaking, Han Lie’s Team Officer, Shang Lin, came to a halt in the distance. “Squad Leader Han, the physicians and craftsmen have been found.”

Hearing this, Qin Ying stopped talking.

Han Lie packed up the bamboo slips recording the ‘divine oracle’ and followed Shang Lin to the backyard of the Commandery Governor’s Mansion.

Though the small city in the box looked dusty and yellow, with countless people starving to death and the official offices dilapidated, the County Governor’s residence in the backyard was a different story.

It featured painted pillars, carved beams, and trees adorned with gold.

The glossy tiled roofs stood out in the city, looking exceptionally black, shiny, and luxurious.

The County Governor’s family had originally lived here.

After the County Governor’s death, angry starving citizens had nearly rushed in to raze the garden to the ground.

Fortunately, Han Lie had stopped them. He knew that if those furious people broke in, they would commit atrocities against the women and children.

Therefore, he had protected the County Governor’s family, temporarily detaining them as a trump card for later.

Now, this large area of pavilions and gardens had been cleared out and was being used as a place to treat the sick, with physicians and craftsmen being conscripted for the task.

As soon as Han Lie entered, he saw the physicians and craftsmen huddled together.

The ‘Divine Shadow’ in the sky had nodded, acknowledging Han Lie as the Vicar of her will. His reputation had long since reached a level of awe-inspiring reverence.

Facing his summons, the physicians and craftsmen present were all very apprehensive.

Finally, an Old Physician with hair and beard as white as snow stepped forward.

Han Lie led the Old Physician to a secluded spot and whispered a few words to him.

The Old Physician’s expression shifted several times. He stroked his beard and remained silent.

Seeing this, Han Lie asked, “Is there a problem?”

To his surprise, the Old Physician suddenly shook his head. “The tool the Supreme Deity speaks of… we actually have something like it.”

At these words, not only Han Lie but even the eavesdropping Qin Ying was stunned.

The Old Physician looked at Han Lie with a bitter smile. “Officer Han, you come from Luoyang, so there are things you may not know.”

“Yunwu County is located in the northwest. The commoners eat foxtail millet, broomcorn millet, and wheat, but the nobles prefer dog and sheep meat. Over time… it is inevitable that they suffer from difficulties with bowel movements.”

The climate in Yunwu County was dry with little rainfall. While the commoners ate husks and wild vegetables, the nobles who loved meat were prone to minor bouts of constipation.

Besides internal medicine, the nobles also had precious topical treatments.

“Officer Han is a soldier of the Jade Balance Army; you should know of the Oil Spirit Mushroom.”

Hearing the Old Physician’s question, Han Lie was slightly taken aback, then frowned in thought. “The Oil Spirit Mushroom… it grows in damp places in spring. It only needs a slight squeeze to secrete a large amount of oil.”

“The Oil Spirit Mushroom has a unique fragrance, and since it only grows in spring, it is a very precious cooking oil.”
Upon hearing this, the Old Physician nodded and then shook his head. “Lord Han may not know, but the Oil Spirit Mushroom has another use here in Yunwu County.”

The Old Physician suddenly rolled up his sleeve and made a somewhat crude but easily understood gesture. “Irrigation. It clears the bowels!”

Han Lie fell silent at those words.

In Luoyang, the Oil Spirit Mushroom was highly sought after. Now, the Spring Day Banquet prepared with it seemed to take on a slightly different… flavor.

Outside the box, Qin Ying listened in a daze. It was yet another thing she had never heard of; the local specialties of this box world were certainly numerous.

The Old Physician’s final crude gesture had somewhat ruined his image, but at least it solved the tool problem.

He ordered the Medicine Boy to fetch a bamboo tube used for oil irrigation for inspection.

The device had a pointed bamboo tip and wasn’t much different from a large syringe.

They only needed to have the craftsmen at the Commandery Governor’s Mansion urgently replicate a hundred or so, and it would be enough.

Rare Spring-born Oil Spirit Mushrooms were hard to find, but the Supreme Deity could provide an entire pool’s worth of Enema Solution that could drown a person.

With another matter settled, Qin Ying checked the time. It was already getting dark outside.

She still had a pile of things to do; she couldn’t stay hunched over this box forever. She needed to finish up quickly and get on with her day.

In the Front Courtyard of the Commandery Governor’s Mansion, the setup for the rain prayer had not yet been dismantled. Qin Ying urged Han Lie to go and burn a stick of incense.

Han Lie held the incense between his fingers and was about to kowtow when he suddenly remembered he didn’t know Qin Ying’s Divine Name. Just as he was about to ask, the sky turned dark.

The Long Halberd in the hands of the guard at the Commandery Governor’s Mansion slipped from his grasp.

“The… the God…”

*The God has appeared again!*

He wanted to scream it, but the second half of the sentence choked in his throat, sounding like the shriek of a chicken being strangled.

Because he saw the God reaching a hand toward the Commandery Governor’s Mansion.

The shadow of the five spread fingers blanketed the entire mansion.

Was the God going to destroy the Commandery Governor’s Mansion?

The County Soldiers scrambled away on all fours, only to see something descending from the clouds.

A piece of Giant Cloth, stiff as if it had been starched, was rolled into a cylinder and hung directly over the Commandery Governor’s Mansion.

This Giant Cloth was multicolored, covered in characters taller than a man and some drawings.

The County Soldiers were illiterate and couldn’t possibly recognize these characters from the Divine Realm.

Fortunately, there was someone who could read.

A figure bolted out as if being chased by a dog.

Chief Clerk Li of the county, his graying hair disheveled, abandoned his usual noble and aloof demeanor. He looked up at the sky like a madman.

“It is a Divine Revelation from the Supreme Deity!”

Chief Clerk Li’s eyes widened as he identified the extremely orderly and mysterious characters on the Giant Cloth.

He wanted to record them, but in his haste to come out, he had neither bamboo slips nor brush and ink.

Steeling his resolve, he pointed at a County Soldier who was staring at the sky with his mouth agape. “You, come here!”

The honest-faced County Soldier looked at the sky and then at him, immediately shaking his head. “Not going!”

Chief Clerk Li usually looked down his nose at these County Soldiers; nothing good ever came from being called over by him.

Rebuffed, Chief Clerk Li fumed, stomping his feet and cursing, “You absolute scoundrel!”

But there was nothing he could do if the soldier wouldn’t come. Finally, he lifted the hem of his robe and tore off a section of his Undergarment.

He hesitated for a moment while holding up his finger, then bared his teeth and bit down.

He intended to record the text in blood, but he didn’t bite hard enough because he feared the pain. He glared at the County Soldier again.

The honest-faced soldier saw his expression and realized the clerk wanted to record the Divine Text in blood.

With a flash of inspiration, the soldier walked over.

Seeing this, Chief Clerk Li thought the man was coming to offer his own blood and praised him, “At least you know how to be tactful.”

In the next second, the soldier grabbed Chief Clerk Li’s withered hand and swiped it across the blade of his Long Halberd.

A wound the size of a child’s mouth split open on the pad of Chief Clerk Li’s finger, and blood sprayed out like a small fountain.

The honest-faced County Soldier even smiled. “No need to thank me.”

Chief Clerk Li’s face twitched twice before he finally spat out a silent curse.

“His mother’s…!”

He lowered his head and began recording the Divine Text on the torn piece of cream-colored Undergarment.

Because the Giant Cloth was rolled up and due to the angle, Chief Clerk Li couldn’t see all the characters. He barely managed to jot down a few.

Chief Clerk Li put his bleeding finger in his mouth to suck on it like a child with a pacifier, all while pondering the meaning of those characters that seemed to be missing strokes.

“Regain confidence… show your… masculine… prowess?”