chapter 5

I found a photo studio to take my memorial portrait.

I hadn’t planned on doing this. Taking a memorial portrait feels like a prelude to death, and I instinctively avoided it.

But something unexpected happened the night before.

I got up in the middle of the night for a drink of water and fell.

My knee was cut open, and the blood wouldn’t stop flowing.

It soaked through my pajamas and then onto the floor.

My limbs ached as if they were being torn apart, and I couldn’t get up.

I could only lie on my back on the floor all night.

The person in the photo on the wall looked at me under the dim light, their eyes seeming to hold sorrow.

I endured until dawn before I had the strength to get up and prepare to take my memorial portrait.

When it would be hung on the wall, I vainly wanted to look a little more presentable.

As usual, when I brushed my teeth, my mouth was full of blood.

It’s truly strange. I haven’t even had chemotherapy, yet my hair falls out in handfuls, my eyebrows are gone, and I look like a skeleton draped in human skin.

I put on a light makeup in front of the mirror, but I still looked terribly ugly.

When the photographer heard I wanted a memorial portrait, he confirmed again, “A memorial portrait, are you sure?”

I nodded.

Seeing how gaunt I looked, a trace of pity appeared in his eyes as he led me into the studio.

In the studio next door, there was also a shoot going on. It seemed to be a wedding shoot, lively and full of laughter, brimming with joy.

The process was quick.

In the photo, I forced a smile, my eyes crinkling, but I was too thin, and there was an indescribable weariness about me.

The lipstick was wasted, and I couldn’t help but feel regretful.

Holding the photo as I walked out, I passed by the studio next door and couldn’t help but stop.

The door wasn’t fully closed, and voices drifted out.

“Wow, Yuhe, you look even better than the model in this dress, amazing!”

“When He Chenyi gets here, he’s going to be stunned!”

“We’ve been waiting almost two hours. He Chenyi should be here soon.”

…

Through the crack in the door, I could vaguely see Jiang Yuhe’s figure, surrounded by a group of girlfriends.

Her makeup was exquisite, and she looked in high spirits, spinning in front of the mirror in a long wedding dress.

My legs went weak, and I steadied myself against the wall, a wave of nausea rising in my throat.

I clutched the Talisman tightly in my hand.

In an instant, my memory was pulled far away.

This studio was opened by his friend.

Though it’s in the old part of town, it’s been around for years, passed down from father to son. The photographer and makeup artist are both highly skilled, so it’s well-known in the area.

Once, I too had hoped to take my wedding photos here someday.

Back then, I thought there was still plenty of time.

By chance, he was once pulled in by a friend to be a model for a photo shoot.

In a white shirt and black trousers, his narrow waist and long legs stood out, and with his handsome face, he was displayed at the studio entrance to attract business.

It worked quite well, and for a while, the studio was bustling with customers.

Later, they needed a wedding dress model, and he recommended me.

I put on the wedding dress and walked out from behind the curtain, unable to help complaining, “This dress is suffocating me-it fits too well…”

He had been lounging lazily on the sofa, propping his face with his hand, lost in thought.

But at that moment, he sprang to his feet.

In the huge floor-length mirror, he stood tall in a suit, and I was in a pure white wedding dress.

Standing face to face, we looked like a newlywed couple.

I remember that afternoon.

His gaze was burning, as if he couldn’t look away from me. After a long moment, he smiled, “My little bride.”

For a moment, I almost had an illusion.

He was about to cry.

That day, unfortunately, there was a torrential downpour, and the studio’s equipment malfunctioned, so the wedding photos weren’t taken.

Maybe it was fate.

I was destined never to have the luck to wear a wedding dress and hold my lover’s hand to promise a lifetime together.