Chapter 33
At the end of this year, I fell gravely ill.
The Second Young Master invited countless physicians to the mansion, but I refused to take any medicine. Always calm and unperturbed, he actually lost his temper.
His eyes were tinged red at the corners, holding a bowl of medicinal soup, gritting his teeth as he glared at me: “Sun Yunchun, if you still refuse to take your medicine, do you believe I’ll kill your Aunt?”
I smiled, “I’m about to die anyway. On Yellow Springs Road, I can keep her company.”
The Second Young Master’s brows furrowed deeply, and he soon conceded, lifting his gaze to plead softly, “Xiao Chun, I beg you, please take your medicine. When you recover and spring returns, I’ll take you to Jiming Temple to see the flowers.”
I turned my face away, my gaze vacant, and softly hummed a nursery rhyme-
“A son need not know his letters, cockfighting and horse-riding surpass reading books. Jia family’s child at thirteen, wealth and glory can’t compare… Father dies a thousand miles from Chang’an, a servant sent to escort the funeral cart.”
“Xiao Chun, stop reciting, please stop.”
I closed my eyes, weak and feeble, tears slowly sliding onto the pillow.
The Second Young Master held my hand. Strangely, though silver charcoal burned in the room, making it warm, his hand was even colder than mine.
He came to see me almost every day, talking to me.
He said that the year I entered the mansion at thirteen, led by Aunt Zheng to meet his mother Lady Zhu, he was inside the room, and at first sight, he remembered my name.
Because I didn’t resemble a thirteen-year-old girl at all.
Though I’d studied and attended private school, my eyes were far too dark, like a deep sea after a thousand sails, boundless and endless.
My gaze was so calm, never once looking at him.
Later, when I was by Zhang Mi’s side, he would occasionally see me, but never saw me show any emotion.
Beaten by Lady Zhu, bullied by others, I could endure it all in silence.
As if I never cared about any of it.
Yes, I didn’t care.
I never cared about anything in the Censor’s Mansion, including the Second Young Master Zhang Yunhuai.
He had tried to talk to me, casually asking me to deliver something to the Fourth Miss.
As expected, I was respectful and polite, took it and left with my head bowed, never looking at him.
Now, he could finally hold my hand openly, just to say: “Xiao Chun, open your eyes and look at me. From now on, you will be my only official wife. I can promise never to take a concubine, as long as you look at me.”
He still doesn’t understand.
He never understood, those were never the reasons I lived. I am like a wounded cocoon, buried underground, destined never to break free in this life.
Zhang Mi would occasionally come to see me too.
She talked about Heir Jiang, who was still missing, and about recent events in the Capital. That Lord An, who once led soldiers to search the Censor’s Mansion, never took up his post. After leaving the Capital, he was killed by bandits on the boat.
She clutched her chest, lamenting how the world was growing worse, that even officials of the Imperial Court dared be murdered.
Fortunately, the culprit was caught.
I lifted my eyelids at her words, “Caught?”
“Yes, Second Brother said it was a thief who killed for money. The case is solved.”
After her sigh, she spoke of Colonel Chao in the Capital, asking repeatedly, “Since he’s your Brother-in-law and your sister has passed, have you ever thought he might remarry?”
Zhang Mi’s eyes were bright, and I vaguely sensed something, “What do you mean?”
“Xiao Chun, do you know? He’s truly remarkable. Last month at the Royal Winter Hunt, he held a bow and-whoosh, whoosh, whoosh!-easily won first place. None of the generals or warriors present could match him.”
Zhang Mi gestured as if holding a bow herself, her expression lively, “He is now deeply favored by His Majesty, and many wish to form ties with him. Since you are his sister-in-law, could you let me benefit from proximity? We could become even closer relatives.”
“You no longer think of Heir Jiang?”
“His fate is still unknown, alive or dead. What’s the use of thinking about him? I might as well plan for myself early. You don’t know, my mother has already started arranging my marriage. The young men from those noble families are mostly like my elder brother-truly vexing.”
“Colonel Chao also has a woman.”
“I know, the one he brought from Kaizhou, just a close maidservant, not even given a title. That doesn’t matter. If I marry him, raising her to concubine is no issue. Which man in this world isn’t like that? In the end, I would be the official wife.”