chapter 2

Dad exhaled his last puff of smoke and said, “If you can get the money yourself, then go study.”

There was just over a month left before school started.

Even if I went to the county to work now, working day and night without rest, it would be impossible to earn 1800.

At night, I lay in bed, tossing and turning, trying to think of a way.

Finally, I thought of someone.

Early the next morning, at dawn, I left home and went to the village entrance to catch the first bus to the county.

It was the height of summer, and everyone got up early.

I ran into Aunt Zhang, Zhang Shuai’s mother-my mother-in-law in my previous life.

She greeted me with a big smile: “Zhaozhao, where are you off to so early? Haven’t had breakfast yet, have you? I boiled some eggs, let me get you a couple.”

Goosebumps rose all over my body.

It was anger, it was fear.

Before I married Zhang Shuai, she treated me very well.

Only after marriage did I realize how two-faced she was, especially when I didn’t have children for several years-her attitude grew even worse.

Later, when I got pregnant, she insisted on getting someone to do a B ultrasound for me. When she found out it was a girl, she sold all the chickens she had specially raised for my postpartum care.

I took three steps back: “I’ve already eaten.”

“You’re going to Vocational School too, right? Why not go to the same school as my Zhang Shuai…”

“No, I want to go to high school.”

I turned and left. She called after me, “Where will your parents get the money to support you? Why does a girl need so much schooling? Better to start working and earning money early…”

At the bus station, I braved the scorching sun, going from one storefront to another, until I found Fude Restaurant.

The year I got married, there was news in the village.

Uncle De, a member of our clan, had sponsored several students, one of whom got into Tsinghua University.

After graduation, that child found Uncle De and insisted on giving him 300,000 yuan.

The TV station even came to interview him.

The village women gossiped: “If he had that kind of money, why not share some with the villagers instead of helping outsiders?”

“No wonder he could never have a son!”

After ten o’clock, the small restaurant still had few customers.

I licked my dry lips, grabbed the rag from Uncle De’s hand to help wipe the tables, and explained why I was there.

“I’ll write you an IOU. When I get into college, I’ll pay you back with interest.”

“Even though my grades are at the bottom now, I promise I’ll study hard.”

“Uncle De, I know you’ve always helped poor kids. Please help me…”

…

As soon as I finished speaking, Auntie came out yelling:

“What sponsorship? Song Defu, who are you giving money to behind my back? No wonder the restaurant’s accounts never add up!”

She waved a kitchen knife at Uncle De.

Uncle De snatched the rag back from my hand and explained, “I don’t have any money!”

“Isn’t all the money with you? Don’t listen to her nonsense.”

He scolded me: “If you’re not eating, then go home. Don’t get in the way of my business!”

I was wrong.

I was too impulsive, too anxious.

But Uncle De didn’t give me another chance. He chased me out with a broom.

I asked at many other shops in a row.

Even if they were hiring, the monthly wage was only six hundred yuan.

And you had to work at least half a year.

Under the blazing sun, I was nearly roasted alive.

The cement ground steamed, and my transparent plastic sandals sizzled as I walked.

Is it possible that even with a second chance at life, I can’t change my fate?

Am I only destined to attend a free Vocational School, work on an assembly line, marry someone at random, and muddle through life?

I hadn’t eaten or drunk much all day, and I felt like I’d shed a layer of skin.

On my way back, I ran into Aunt Zhang again at the village entrance.

She tutted, “Stop struggling. You just don’t have that kind of luck!”

“Going to Vocational School with my Xiao Shuai would be great!”

Zhang Shuai ran out of the house, carrying a bowl of herbal tea: “Have some tea, don’t get heatstroke.”

In my previous life, we went to work on the assembly line together.

Eight hundred yuan a month, each of us sent six hundred home to our parents, keeping only two hundred for ourselves.

The factory provided food and lodging.

He gave all his two hundred yuan to me; sometimes he didn’t even spend ten yuan a month on himself.

Back then, I thought he was the best person in the world to me.

He was good, but he was a mama’s boy.

I pushed the herbal tea back: “No, thank you.”

When I got home, my parents and younger brother had just returned from the fields.

Song Mu said sarcastically, “You sure know how to hide. Haven’t seen a trace of you all day.”

“My back is about to break.”

Since I was little, my parents always told me I was the older sister, so I had to take care of my younger brother and give way to him.

I was brainwashed like this for years.

Until they took all the money I’d sent home over the years and used it for the down payment on Song Mu’s apartment in the county, while only buying me six of the cheapest silk quilts as a dowry.

That’s when I realized: from the moment Song Mu was born, I was destined to be the one sacrificed.

Dad saw my face and knew things hadn’t worked out.

He sighed, “Now you know 1800 is a lot of money, right?”

Mom patted my head, “Zhaozhao, your dad and I have limited means. Don’t blame us.”

Song Mu shouted angrily, “I’m starving! Can we eat first?”

At dinner, my parents said, “Just go to Vocational School with Xiao Shuai. At least you’ll have someone to look out for you.”

“I want to go to high school. I’ll find a way to get the money.”

Dad slammed his chopsticks down: “Do you need a beating to listen?”

“Letting you go to Vocational School is already good enough. The other girls in the village all went to work after junior high to support their families. What more do you want?”

Mom spoke softly, trying to persuade me too.

But my parents, neither of them got into No. 1 High School.

And this is already my second life.

If I give in again, then I deserve to be stuck in the mud for all eternity, never able to rise.

Just as we were at a stalemate, the black dog in the yard started barking nonstop.

Under the dim moonlight, Uncle De stood in the shadow of the big camphor tree, pushing his bicycle, and called to me softly, “Zhaozhao, come here!”