chapter 13
I tossed the notes to him and turned away.
For an entire semester, I didn’t go home.
Sometimes Mom would ask Song Mu to bring me a few things.
I studied day and night.
In my previous life, I had taken self-study exams for associate and bachelor’s degrees, but compared to the real college entrance examination, all that previous studying was nothing.
Top fifty in the grade.
It’s not just about working hard-you need talent, or even, like Zhang Jie, both talent and effort.
If I slack off even a little, someone will surpass me.
Sometimes I wonder.
If a small county high school is already like this, what about a key high school, the whole province, the whole country?
I am nothing but…
a drop in the ocean.
Yet even if I am an invisible speck of dust,
I will do my utmost to rise with the wind.
Maybe I’ll land on a mountaintop, becoming a grain of sand overlooking the peaks.
Maybe I’ll fall onto a skyscraper, breathing and sharing fate with the bustling city.
In any case, I will never again be mixed in with the mud of Mingshan Village.
Sometimes I’m so tired I don’t even want to speak.
There are moments of doubt: having lived a second life, why can’t I be as powerful as those protagonists in novels?
Whenever that happens, it’s Zhang Jie who pulls me back.
April nights are still chilly.
Under the brilliant starry sky, he smiles at me and says, “Hang in there, we’ll win soon.”
The forsythia bloomed and faded.
The little gardenia quietly formed buds.
I don’t know when it started, but passing by the small garden under the senior building, the air was filled with a faint fragrance.
The gardenias had bloomed.
The college entrance exam finally arrived.
This was the test of my three years of effort, and also a test of whether I had made the right choice after being reborn.
I was lucky-my exam room was at my own school.
It rained heavily for both days of the exam.
Raindrops slammed against the glass, crackling loudly.
Suddenly, I remembered-the day I gave birth, the weather was just like this.
My cries of pain and pleas were shattered by the pouring rain.
Outside the door, my mother-in-law’s curses and Zhang Shuai’s shouts for me to hold on a little longer pounded against my chest like drums.
That time, I walked toward death in the storm.
This time, I will greet New Life in the thunder and rain!
After the last exam ended, I walked out of the exam room and saw Zhang Jie coming out from the classroom at the end of the corridor.
After two days of nonstop rain, it had finally stopped at some point.
A summer rainbow hung in the sky.
He smiled gently at me across the surging crowd.
I smiled too, and as I smiled, tears streamed down my face.
While waiting for the results, I returned to the village.
In the past three years, in this backward mountain village, only Song Mu and I had gotten into No. 1 High School.
The other kids either went straight to work in Guangdong after graduation, or went to Vocational School before joining the assembly line.
The villagers’ impression of me was still stuck at the Bottom Student who barely got into No. 1 High School.
A girl being good at studying wasn’t something worth boasting about or bringing glory to the family.
So the women would ask:
“Zhaozhao, can you get into a proper university?”
“If you only get into a third-tier college, your parents won’t be able to afford to send you.”
Aunt Zhang clicked her tongue, “I’ve always said high school is useless. Look at my Xiao Shuai-he started working last year and has already sent home five thousand yuan.”
For a moment, the women were full of envy, praising Aunt Zhang for raising her son so well.
Limited by their vision.
They thought the five thousand yuan in front of them was far more reliable than an uncertain fifty thousand or five hundred thousand in the future.
Aunt Zhang smiled at me, “Zhaozhao, you’re not young anymore. Why not go work with Xiao Shuai this time? Later you can be my daughter-in-law-I won’t treat you badly.”
My cousin aunt had a bit more insight.
“After all, you’re in the key class at No. 1 High School. Getting into a second-tier university shouldn’t be a problem. But second-tier universities aren’t popular now-if it’s not a top university, the degree isn’t worth much.”
But back then, she clearly said graduating from Vocational School was already very good.
Two days before the results came out, Zhang Jie called me.
“Zhaozhao, have you decided which school to apply to?”
“I’ll wait for the scores.”
He paused, “Tsinghua University and Peking University both called me. I wanted to ask which city you’re going to.”
Having lived two lives, I quickly understood what he meant.
“Where I go doesn’t matter, Zhang Jie. The important thing is where you want to go.”
“With your mind, only Tsinghua University or Peking University are worthy of you. You have to take responsibility for your life, for the talent Heaven has given you!”
He was silent for a long time on the other end.
Finally, he said softly, “Then I’ll go to Tsinghua University.”
The day the results were officially released was a bright sunny day.
Uncle Wang was putting up the beams for his new house, and all the laborers in the village were invited to help, including my dad.
Around noon, I went to find him to borrow his cell phone to check my scores.
Uncle Wang’s family was large.
It was lunchtime, and everyone sat under the trees, eating and chatting.
Aunt Zhang was there too.
She laughed, “Zhaozhao wants to check her scores? Just do it here-let everyone hear.”
I dialed the inquiry number, and after a long wait, with everyone watching, the voice on the other end began to announce my scores.