chapter 12

He grabbed Dad’s arm.

“Let her go. She’s the one suited for studying, not me.”

I looked at him in astonishment.

He glared at me fiercely. “What are you looking at? Hurry up and leave.”

In my previous life, when Song Mu was taking his high school entrance exam, I had just been assigned to the assembly line.

Back then, Mom and Dad called me, begging me to think of a way too.

Song Mu ordered me over the phone, “You’re working now, so you should at least prepare two thousand yuan for me.”

Later, I advanced my salary, scraped together money from everywhere, and sent two thousand yuan back home.

At that time, I hadn’t made it to high school myself, but I hoped he could achieve something.

But in the end, he only got into a Vocational School.

Thinking back now, in my previous life, under Mom and Dad’s brainwashing, I indulged and accommodated Song Mu without restraint. Everything at home revolved around him, so he took it for granted and never cherished anything.

But after being reborn, because I carried resentment, I never showed him a good face.

I always spoke to him harshly and never spoiled him.

Maybe because of that, he managed to keep some of his kindness.

On the way, I ran into several elders.

They all told me to understand my parents’ difficulties, to be sensible and share the burden.

They blamed me for my bad temper and lack of manners.

Aunt Zhang went even further, saying that for girls, the most important thing is to get married and have children. What’s the point of studying so much?

She said I should hurry and have a son while I’m at the right age-that’s what matters most.

This backward, stifling village really makes it hard to breathe.

I have to escape.

I absolutely refuse to be trapped here for a lifetime like I was in my previous life.

Thanks to Teacher Liu’s help, the dorm manager let me move in.

I didn’t have to do any farm work and could focus entirely on my studies. It felt wonderful.

Because I had to take remedial classes, summer vacation was short, and soon everyone returned to school.

I hadn’t called home for over a month.

Soon, the lower grades started their term.

During the break between classes, Song Mu actually came looking for me.

He ended up attending No. 1 High School after all.

He carried a big bag. “Mom asked me to bring this for you.”

He handed me a stack of ten-yuan bills. “Dad said my monthly living expenses are three hundred, but he gave me four hundred. The extra hundred is probably for you.”

Inside the bag were pickled sour beans and white beans in old Laoganma jars, plus minced pork stir-fried with white chili peppers.

I don’t like ginger.

There wasn’t a single shred of ginger in these pickled dishes.

My feelings were complicated.

See, that’s what parents are like.

They hit you hard, trying to mold you into the child they want.

But then they give you a tiny sweet date, just to let you know they do care a little.

I’ve lived twice now, and still can’t cut off these feelings.

That day, after dinner, I passed by the bulletin board.

The red honor roll for the seniors hadn’t been taken down yet.

Song Mu, dressed in his military training uniform, was standing there with a few classmates.

Someone pointed at the list. “Song Zhaozhao… Zhaozhao and Mu-Song Mu, your names match so well! And she’s such a top student.”

In the sunset, Song Mu lifted his chin proudly. “That’s my sister!”

After evening self-study, I went to find Song Mu.

I gave him all the notes I took in my first year of high school.

“After the high school entrance exam, I had a dream. I dreamed I went to Vocational School, worked on the assembly line, married someone at random, and died in the hospital from complications during childbirth.”

The corridor lights were dim, casting my pale face in shadow.

Turns out, thirty-some years of my previous life could be summed up in just one sentence.

I looked at Song Mu. “And you, you paid your own way into No. 1 High School, got addicted to games, ended up at a vocational college, and couldn’t find a good job.”

“You finally got a girlfriend, but she thought you were too poor and left you.”

“Song Mu, I don’t want my life to be as miserable as that dream, so I’m working as hard as I can.”

“As for you, whether you want to muddle through your whole life or start working hard now to change your fate, that’s your decision.”