Chapter 39
I woke up in the hospital.
The doctor said that my condition was already advanced, that my body was too weak to withstand any major emotional upheaval.
When the doctor said this, He Wei was there too.
He sat dazed on the bench outside the ward, murmuring quietly, “How did it come to this?”
Fu Ziyi said sarcastically, “Isn’t it you all who kept pushing her to this point?”
“It’s not like that,” He Wei replied, almost to himself. “I never wanted to hurt her. It’s just that no one was doing well. Back then, He Yu had depression. Sometimes she would cut herself with a knife. I was afraid she’d do something stupid, so I-”
“Jiang Yu tried to kill herself, did you know that?” Fu Ziyi stared at He Wei. “Well, it wasn’t really suicide, just that the cuts were a bit too deep.
“Do you know what her first words were when I found her?
“She said: ‘Don’t worry. My brother saved this life of mine. I won’t let myself die so easily.'”
Self-harm was something from a long time ago.
It started the night I tried to overturn my brother’s case, but lost.
I never thought about dying. My life was exchanged for by my brother.
I was just in so much pain, longing to use physical pain to ease the oppression in my heart.
But I didn’t cut much.
Because Fu Ziyi found me.
When he discovered me, I didn’t care and said coldly, “I won’t die.”
It wasn’t until Fu Ziyi pressed my hand, still holding the knife, onto his own hand that I realized how blinding the fresh blood could be.
In that moment, I really thought he was crazy.
Afterwards, I kept dodging and crying as I shouted at him, “What’s wrong with you! Let go! I won’t do this again.”
Only then did he let go.
I threw the knife aside, wanting to hit him, but then I saw that he was crying.
That was the first time I truly saw Fu Ziyi cry.
With tears streaming down his face, he asked me, “Can you stop hurting yourself?”
From then on, I never had the courage to pick up a knife and turn it on myself again.
Even now, the same scars remain on both our arms, in the exact same place.