chapter 14

Ambition is like a horse-once its reins are removed, it can never be restrained again.

Madam discovered tampered ice in the cellar of Huai Ci Palace, and also uncovered Yan Ci’s unbridled ambition.

At the fifth watch, I went to Huai Ci Palace to deliver food and saw Yan Ci kneeling in the courtyard, his lips tinged purple.

It happened to be the first snowfall that day. I wanted to step forward and brush the snow off Yan Ci, but Madam sternly rebuked me from behind.

“Disloyal and unrighteous!” Madam seized a broom and struck him. “Is this how I taught you? Foolish!”

“Is loyalty to the Emperor and respect for the father truly loyalty and righteousness? Is aiding a tyrant also loyalty and righteousness?” Yan Ci sneered. “Imperial Consort, you are the one who is confused.”

“Look at the Sixteenth Prince, Yan Zhan-how he is loyal to the Emperor and respects his father, controlling floods and driving out plagues, his reputation spreading far and wide!”

“Did I ever have a choice?” Yan Ci nearly gritted his teeth. “I am the son of a criminal-who would ever choose to follow me?”

“Is it that I enjoy prying open people’s skulls? Or that I like stealing every night? Do I enjoy killing and dismembering?”

“Who doesn’t want to be a hero admired by all?” Frost covered Yan Ci’s eyelashes. “I want that too, but I never had a choice.”

Madam swept her sleeves and left. Yan Ci remained kneeling. To coax him inside, I lifted the lid of the food box.

“It’s braised perch. If you don’t eat, it’ll get cold.” I bent down to shield the food box from the falling snow, freeing my hands to gesture. “Let’s go inside and eat.”

Suddenly, Yan Ci, still kneeling, reached out and wrapped his arms around my neck, breaking down in uncontrollable sobs.

His warm tears rolled down my neck, turning icy as the wind blew. I thought Yan Ci was just like his tears-scalding and cold all at once.