Chapter 7
Chapter 7
Ah Mian said, “You don’t even love yourself, so how can you give something like ‘love’ away?”
“Your Elder Brother has always been planning for his life, always striving. He longs to turn things around, to make something of himself, and he’s constantly looking for a way. What about you? Do you have that?”
“Have you ever planned for yourself? Have you thought about what kind of person you want to become, or how you want to live this life well? Your so-called ‘plans’ and ‘efforts’ are nothing more than following a man around. Taking care of him, sleeping with him, and then waiting for him to strike it rich… You just want to rely on that tiny bit of cheap effort to ride a man’s coattails.”
“What exactly are you so self-satisfied about?”
“You’ve forgotten that you’re a human being, and you’ve forgotten that he is one, too.”
“People have no conscience; people are unscrupulous.”
“I tore myself away from my wretched family because I hate a miserable living environment. I want to go to the richest places and connect with the most powerful people. I crave success, and for the sake of success, I can abandon everything.”
“Open your eyes and look at the world. Look at people like us from the bottom of society. Look at how far they’ll bend their knees just to climb up-they’d even kill.”
“And you? You’re telling me you’re… you’re doing this for love? There’s nothing wrong with love, but do you really think… your Elder Brother is ‘doing love’ the same way you are?”
I stared blankly at Ah Mian, thinking she had gone mad.
She was a monster.
How could she…
Ah Mian flicked the ash from her cigarette and laughed. “Forget it. Come talk to me again once you’ve figured these things out. Also, does he really love you as much as you think he does? Think carefully before you answer.”
In truth, after all these years, I was no longer that ignorant country girl who had just arrived.
I roughly understood what she was saying, but…
“There are many things I have no choice in.”
“And what choice does he have?” Ah Mian sneered. “No one has a choice. The world is just a makeshift stage. Everyone is just trying things out; if it works, it works, and if it doesn’t, you try something else. If you never succeed, you die. So what? Success is just a matter of probability. It’s not easy for anyone who wants to live with some dignity.”
“And love? Love doesn’t solve a single thing.”