chapter 4

There was no doubt that Lu Xinyu’s parting words had cast a stone into the calm waters of my heart, sending ripples through my soul.

But those ripples were quickly smoothed over by a message from my blind date.

He was confirming the location for our meeting tomorrow. Coincidentally, it was right next to the restaurant where tonight’s gathering had been held.

After exiting the chat, I saw the two-word reply Lu Xinyu had sent after I told him I’d made it home.

“Goodnight.”

I stared at those two words for a long time before replying with a “goodnight” of my own. Then, I turned off my phone and went to bed.

But I couldn’t sleep.

Before I turned twenty-five, my academic success had always been my mother’s greatest source of pride. That pride carried her through my university years, my postgraduate recommendation, and eventually, my first job.

She used to share her “educational wisdom” with other mothers in the neighborhood who came to her for advice. To those parents troubled by their children’s “puppy love,” she would proudly recount how she had keenly spotted the first signs of romance in me and nipped them in the bud. She claimed she’d pulled me back from the brink of ruin, allowing me to get into a top-ten university, earn a spot in the postgraduate program as the top student in my year, and eventually land an enviable job offer in Beijing.

Later on, fewer and fewer people came to her for advice. Instead, they began inviting her to weddings, full-month celebrations, and first-birthday parties.

Her WeChat Moments started filling up with photos of babies and links to vote for children in various contests.

It was then that she suddenly realized everyone else had moved on to a different track.

No one cared anymore about who used to have the best grades or who was the most accomplished. Now, the topics of conversation were how capable a son-in-law was or how adorable a grandson looked.

Perhaps it was her lifelong competitive nature, but she began to grow anxious.

That anxiety traveled thousands of kilometers, reaching me through phone calls, WeChat messages, and a never-ending stream of arranged blind dates.

In my otherwise perfect and smooth-sailing twenty-seven years of life, marriage seemed to have become my greatest challenge yet.

For me, and for her.

As one blind date after another ended in failure, the two things she said to me most often were:

“Xiao Shan, you need to be realistic.”

“At your age, it’s no longer about picking someone you like; it’s about picking someone who is suitable.”

A suitable family background, a suitable job, a suitable house, and a suitable car.

On this night, after reuniting with Lu Xinyu, I thought seriously about those words for the first time.

I suddenly felt that maybe my mother was right.

Even though my younger self had once yearned for Lu Xinyu with all her heart, wishing to get closer and closer to him, our meeting tonight had still ended with nothing more than a simple exchange of “goodnight.”

Looking forward and being realistic-perhaps that was what I truly needed to do.