Chapter 4

Chapter 4

After Pei Heng’s confinement was lifted, he invited me out to have some fun.

As the carriage traveled along, I began to feel that something was wrong.

Noticing my unease, Pei Heng said indifferently, “I intend to go to Wan’an Temple to pray for your blessings.”

I immediately thought of the head monk at Wan’an Temple and his One-Finger Zen…

I instantly leaped off the carriage, making a face at Pei Heng as I ran away.

That scoundrel! I knew he was trying to harm me.

Pei Heng also jumped down from the carriage and gave chase.

“Song Yuhui, don’t run! There’s something wrong with you.”

I was perfectly fine.

My mind was clearer than ever before.

You dog of a man, you just want to turn me into a brainless girl in love.

I ran for my life.

He chased me with all his might.

Suddenly, we were surrounded by a group of people; even if we had wings, we couldn’t have escaped.

I shot him a condemnatory glare.

“See? Nothing good ever happens when I go out with you.”

Pei Heng’s expression darkened slightly as he drew his sword to fight.

Soon, the guards arrived, and the two sides clashed in a bloody melee.

Just as victory was in sight, an assassin tried to hold a blade to my throat. I flung a handful of sand, blinding him.

Pei Heng killed the assassin, and blood splattered across my face.

On the carriage ride back.

Pei Heng looked as if he wanted to say something but hesitated.

I beat him to it, snapping at him angrily.

“You wanted to go to Wan’an Temple because you wanted those monks to turn me into a fool who would do nothing but block blades for you.”

“If I hadn’t been clever enough to throw that sand just now, I’d either be a hostage or a corpse by now.”

“I am a daughter of a good family. I only want to live a stable, peaceful life.”

“If you can’t provide that, why did you come to propose marriage?”

“You have your ambitions, but did you ever ask me what kind of life I want to lead?”

Pei Heng’s eyes reddened slightly, his face full of disappointment.

“Yuhui, I truly care for you.”

My heart throbbed wildly, and my head felt hot.

I felt like that ‘love-brain’ was about to grow back.

Suddenly, my sister’s voice echoed in my mind again.

“You silly, sweet girl. If someone loves you, they won’t put you in danger. Don’t look at what he says; look at what he does. Would your parents knowingly lead you into danger? No! They would want nothing more than to hide you away so you can grow up safely. That is true love. Don’t let yourself be moved by his words; you aren’t that important to him.”

Excellent. The love-brain was successfully excised.

I looked at him steadily.

“Thank you, but I also care for myself. Someone as wonderful as me should stay safely in a nest of wealth and comfort, not go out taking risks.”

I turned to leave.

Pei Heng shouted in anger.

“Between husband and wife, shouldn’t we face hardships together? Are we only meant to share wealth and not suffering? If that’s the case, what kind of marriage is that?”

I paused my steps.

I should have just walked away.

But I wasn’t satisfied.

We are all vulgar, ordinary people. Why should he get to stand on the moral high ground?

I asked, “What do you like about me?”

Pei Heng replied righteously, “I just like you. I liked you from the first moment I saw you.”

I lashed out at him:

“Liar. You don’t even dare to look into your own heart.”

“What you like is this face of mine-that I am young, beautiful, and delicate. If I weren’t young or beautiful, if my skin was like old tree bark, would you still like me? No! You would only find me hideous, an eyesore, and tell me to get lost.”

“You also like my body-that I am slim and graceful. If I trained until I was as brawny as a warrior, would you still like me? You wouldn’t. On the surface, you’d praise me for being a heroine who rivals any man, but behind my back, you’d curse me for being a tomboy.”

“You also like that I am healthy and can bear children. If I were barren or a sickly invalid, would you still like me? You wouldn’t! You would only regret marrying me, go off to have children with someone else, and mock me for my inability to conceive.”

“You even like my family background-that my father is valued by His Majesty and my mother comes from a prestigious clan. If my father were a low-ranking official, would you like me? If my mother’s origins were unsavory, would you even spare me a second glance? If I were a commoner, would you have come to my house to propose? No, at most you would have taken me as a concubine, and even then, you’d look down on my lowly birth.”

“These are the things you like about me. These are my assets. What is wrong with me protecting myself?”

“Instead, it’s you. You clearly know what is important to a woman, yet time and time again, you drag me into danger. What exactly are your intentions?”

Pei Heng grew flustered, his hands fidgeting as if he didn’t know where to put them. He desperately tried to explain himself.

“I didn’t think that much.”

“I’m not that kind of person.”

“Even if you were hideous, barren, or lacked a good family, I would still like you.”

I didn’t believe a word of it.

“You have no idea how serious this is, because you know I am a beautiful, healthy girl who can bear children.”

“If you want to truly empathize, why don’t you make yourself hideous, crippled, and sterile? See how terrifying the rumors and gossip people heap upon you can be.”

“If you can endure that without harboring resentment, then you can come back and criticize me for scolding you.”

“If you do feel resentment, it proves you aren’t worthy of having a girl share hardships with you.”

“Because you are no different from the people who judge you.”

“Every time you visit your Brother Crown Prince and play the role of the devoted younger brother, you aren’t actually empathizing with him at all.”

“You look down on a sick man with the superiority of a healthy person. The Crown Prince isn’t a fool; he can see it!”

“If you don’t offer sincerity, don’t expect others to give you true devotion.”

“If you don’t do good deeds without seeking rewards, don’t criticize others for being cautious and worrying about their future.”

I quickly climbed into the carriage and left.

You dog of a man, you can walk back on your own two feet.

Hmph!