Chapter 1
Chapter 1
The words fell.
The entire courtyard lapsed into a dead silence.
Even Shen Yuchi, who had been smugly reaching out her hand, waiting for me to hand over the gold hairpin, stared at me with wide eyes.
No one believed I would actually be willing to break off my engagement with Pei Ling’an.
No one among the gathered young nobles knew better than those present just how much effort I had poured into maintaining this betrothal, or how many times I had trampled my own dignity into the dust to keep it.
In fact, they had even made a wager with Pei Ling’an, betting on whether I would agree even once if he proposed breaking the engagement a hundred times.
Today happened to be the hundredth time.
I let out a soft breath and turned to walk away.
A teacup shattered at my feet.
Pei Ling’an’s voice was as cold as ice:
“Did I say you could leave?”
“Does Young Master Pei have any further instructions?” I asked submissively.
Pei Ling’an’s expression darkened further.
After all, in the past, I had always shamelessly clung to him, calling him “Brother Ling’an.”
“Shen Yusu, have you thought this through?”
He looked at me coldly. “If you take one step out of here, it won’t matter if you crawl back or beg for my forgiveness on your knees-it will be impossible.”
“…I understand.”
I lowered my eyes and took a few steps back toward him.
Pei Ling’an’s expression relaxed slightly.
Shen Yuchi curled her lip, and the others let out mocking laughs, as if to say, “As expected.”
However, I merely picked up my silk fan from the table and walked away without looking back.
That was close. This was the only fan I had left that was worth anything.
My marriage to Pei Ling’an was arranged by my father while he was still alive.
My father was a legend.
By his own strength alone, he had transformed the Shen Clan from an insignificant local family into the Qinghe Shen Clan, a name known to everyone in the capital.
Furthermore, after achieving success and fame, he never abandoned my mother-a young lady from a humble background just like himself. Instead, he contentedly stayed by our side, guarding our small family.
Unfortunately, the heavens are often jealous of talent. When I was eleven, a sudden and violent bout of the cold took my father’s life.
From then on, my mother and I had no choice but to live at the mercy of my eldest uncle.
My uncle was a rare fool. Having lived in my father’s shadow for years, the moment he finally tasted power, he immediately began committing acts that were both stupid and malicious.
Less than two months after the Shen Family was handed over to him, things began to decline. Instead of reflecting on his own failures, he focused all his energy on trying to ruin my engagement with Pei Ling’an.
It was as if he believed that as long as I was out of the way, the position of Young Mistress of the Pei Clan would fall to Shen Yuchi.
He never considered that without my father, our family wouldn’t even be worthy of crossing the Pei Clan’s threshold.
In truth, after my father passed away, the Pei family had dropped hints that they intended to withdraw from the marriage.
It was I who went to beg Pei Ling’an.
Calling it “begging” is perhaps too blunt.
I simply wore plain white mourning clothes, my face pale and the corners of my eyes tinged with a faint red, and managed to stumble and fall right in front of him.
Back then, Pei Ling’an wasn’t quite so cruel. He reached out to help me up, but I gently avoided his touch.
I pressed a sachet I had been clutching into his hand. When he noticed the chilblains on my fingers, I shrank back, curling my hands into my sleeves.
“Brother Ling’an, next month is your birthday. I embroidered this myself. I was afraid… that I might not have the right to give you a birthday gift in the future. I wanted to wish you a happy birthday in advance.”
With that, I turned and ran away.
The plain silk flower in my hair fluttered, and a single tear fell perfectly as the wind caught it.
Pei Ling’an stood there for a long time, watching the direction in which I had disappeared.
The next day, the rumors of the Pei Clan breaking the engagement ceased. My eldest aunt even sullenly returned the monthly allowance she had been withholding.
I added a piece of silver charcoal to my mother’s brazier.
Silently, I mapped out my future path.
I had to secure this engagement, marry Pei Ling’an, become the Young Mistress of the Pei family, and then bring my mother out of the Shen house.
As for how to proceed once I became the Young Mistress, that would depend on whether I had a biological child.
If I did, Pei Ling’an could “succumb to illness” at an appropriate time. If he proved truly useless, he would just have to wait to “succumb” until after I had a child.
As for how the child got there, that was none of his business.
I had always played my part perfectly.
I tolerated Pei Ling’an’s young master temper and conscientiously played the role of a devoted young girl whose heart and eyes were filled only with him.
When he mentioned offhandedly that he wanted sugar-roasted chestnuts from the east side of the city, I braved a heavy snowstorm to buy them. Because he loved listening to pipa music from the frontier, I practiced until my fingertips were raw, all so I could dazzle everyone at his birthday banquet.
As for the daily displays of affection-embroidering mandarin duck handkerchiefs, tying concentric knots, making preserved fruits-I never missed a single thing. Even Lady Pei, who had looked down on me the most, was eventually moved by my “deep devotion” to her son.
Not to mention those hundred proposals to break the engagement.
Every single time, I acted shocked, heartbroken, and desperate, yet unable to let go of my love for him, I would forgive him.
Until now.
The gold hairpin was something my mother had pawned after my father died just so she could afford a tutor to continue my education. Pei Ling’an knew this perfectly well, yet he still treated it as a mere stake in a bet.
I was truly a little tired.
…Psych!
Of course it’s because I found a better option.
Hee hee.