chapter 39

Lu Li paused both screens and pulled his gaze back.

There was much less trash on the coffee table than before. Only takeout bags, a crumpled pile of dirty clothes, beer bottles, and scattered playing cards remained-the table was about half as messy as it had been.

“Finally, that dizzying stench is gone. Just a moment ago, it was so filthy you’d hardly believe anyone lived here!” Luo Jia Bai breathed a sigh of relief. “Looks like the coffee table is a place where Items drop. There should be new Items refreshed now.”

As he bent down to search, he muttered under his breath, “Why do I keep smelling alcohol? So much trash… I didn’t notice if there were beer bottles on the last table, too… Now I’m convinced the one wasting money was the dad.”

“Found it!” Luo Jia Bai quickly fished out a thick file folder and handed it to Lu Li.

Lu Li opened it and spread a pile of documents of various sizes across the table.

“What are these?” Luo Jia Bai picked them up one by one, reading each title: “Divorce Agreement… Injury Assessment Report, Mediation Document, and a Judgment Document.”

Every document in the folder identified the owner’s gender:

Female.

This was the mother’s file folder.

“The first three documents are all dated before March 29. The Divorce Agreement was submitted three times, and each Injury Assessment Report shows more serious injuries, all over her body. But every Mediation Document rejected her request for divorce.”

“Rejected, rejected, rejected-how could all three be rejected? Her ribs were broken and she still couldn’t get a divorce?”

The papers grew heavier in Luo Jia Bai’s hands, until the backs of his hands tensed and trembled with anger.

“So that’s how it is!” Luo Jia Bai said hoarsely. “The one committing domestic violence was actually the dad! But this man was so cunning-he acted like a loving husband and father in front of outsiders and neighbors, so everyone trusted him unconditionally. As long as the breakdown of the marriage couldn’t be proven, the court ruled the man was not at major fault, and just smoothed things over with mediation, refusing the divorce.”

Even he had been fooled by the father’s facade.

Thinking about how confidently he’d guessed the dad was a good man before made Luo Jia Bai feel sick.

He was such a good pretender.

A really, really good pretender.

Lu Li frowned, picking up the last sheet-the only one dated after March 29, the Judgment Document-and read softly:

“March 30, the Judgment Document finds that the woman used excessive force in self-defense, resulting in the man’s permanent deafness in his right ear and causing serious bodily injury. The law provides up to three years’ imprisonment for intentional bodily harm; the court sentenced her to one year.”

Even the divorce, which had always only been addressed through mediation, was finally ruled on, with a touch of bitter irony.

On March 30, the mother was sentenced.

In Nuo Nuo’s Diary, her mother had dragged a suitcase and left her, abandoning her on March 29.

So the mother wasn’t a heartless madwoman who abandoned Nuo Nuo.

She was simply in too much pain-in an extreme world where not a single person understood her.

And no one helped her, either.

Lu Li looked at the bruised skin in the photographs attached to the Injury Assessment Report, frowning as he gently touched the wounds with his finger. He asked, “Aren’t only people in love supposed to get married?”

During his days in the Laboratory, he would occasionally hear, from beyond the distant biochemical glass, two researchers on duty joking about life outside.

They said they’d broken up, didn’t love their ex, had fallen for someone new, and were going to get married.

Back then, he had listened quietly, wanting to understand.

What is love?

Is it a kind of feeling?

“Two people in love getting married? Of course not!”

Luo Jia Bai was surprised by Lu Li’s innocence and explained patiently, “People who get married aren’t necessarily in love, and people in love don’t necessarily get married.”

Lu Li pondered.

So, two people can come together, have a child, and still share a bed while dreaming different dreams-and have no love at all.
It seemed that the love he had always wanted to find and see was not here.

“There’s a notebook inside.”

He shook the document bag and found a small notebook hidden at the very bottom. The notebook’s pages were warped and uneven from being opened and written on so many times.

“This is Mom’s notebook.”

Inside, every stroke was written with extra care:

[Monday]

I’m working hard at reform in prison, and I volunteered to take charge of the sanitation in the washroom area. I even became a group leader.

The labor work is just like the odd jobs I used to secretly do at home-sewing dolls.

Nuo Nuo used to love dolls the most. Every time I finished a job, I could keep one for her. Over the years, her room filled up with dolls. I wonder, during the time I’ve been gone… is he treating the child well?

His demands are too strict. Nuo Nuo never has time to play, which is why she’s become so introverted. Sigh.

*

Turning to the next page:

[Saturday]

The prison warden said he had applied for a sentence reduction for me, so I could go visit Nuo Nuo!

No, I can’t go see her. I don’t dare to see her.

If her classmates see me, they’ll definitely laugh at Nuo Nuo for being the child of a criminal… she’s still so young.

*

The handwriting on the notebook was pressed so hard it showed through the back of the page, as if the writer had poured intense emotion into every word.

On the paper, dried tears had blurred the ends of the words, leaving behind ugly, scar-like marks:

[Wednesday]

I dreamed of you again, daughter.

Regret! So much regret!

The one I owe the most is you!

My greatest failure in life is my marriage-I lived with a disgusting scumbag for twelve years.

What I regret most is saying so many hurtful things to you. I’m sorry.

I really can’t bear to leave, but Nuo Nuo is so good. If others don’t make unforgivable mistakes, you’ll always forgive them. How could Mom bear to leave you? Mom really doesn’t want to drag you down. You must still hate Mom.

*

On the last page, the handwriting became a little lighter, as if some decision had been made:

[Sunday]

Today is the day I get out early. I’ve decided-I want to see Nuo Nuo.

Just seeing her from afar will be enough.

Are you doing well now? Mom misses you every day.

*

“No wonder Nuo Nuo likes dolls. So they were all gifts from her mother. That explains it.” Lu Li’s eyes were a little moist. A cold drop slid down from the corner of his eye, and he instinctively caught it.

It was water.

“Are you crying?” Luo Jia Bai, who prided himself on being a tough guy, had red-rimmed eyes after reading, but still tilted his head at a 45-degree angle to keep the tears from falling.

When he looked up and saw Lu Li standing there dumbfounded, he couldn’t hold it in anymore. Tears streamed down as he choked out, “Your emotions are much richer now than when you first entered the Instance.”

“Really?” Lu Li was slightly stunned. “Thank you.”

He decided to take that as a compliment.

After finishing the last page, he gently closed the notebook.

A mechanical prompt sounded.

[Key Item Exploration Progress: +0.2]

A red power-off button appeared on the remote control in Lu Li’s hand.

He pressed the button for the two correct televisions, and a new television lit up on the wall to their right, along with a new weather forecast.

The weather forecast now showed November 28th-one screen showed rain, the other showed sun.

On the right wall’s television, two hunched faceless grandmothers appeared, dressed plainly and carrying a small schoolbag in their hands.

A faceless grandson, like a cheerful little bird, ran around her legs.

A microphone was held out in front of her.

[You want to interview me? I just picked up my grandson from school. The family next door, you say? I do remember them a bit. The child from that family, Nuo Nuo, is in the same class as my grandson. I’ll just talk about my impression of the male host or the child from that family.]