Chapter 10

During the Shangyuan Festival, Yin Jiuqing came to the Zhang Residence to invite Zhang Zhaoheng and Zhang Jincan to the lantern fair together.

I was also able to take Xiaotao and two young servants out for a stroll.

The moment Yin Jiuqing saw me, his expression suddenly became unnatural, but after a moment, it was masked by his usual upright and serious demeanor.

I pretended not to notice, stepped forward with a sweet smile, and greeted him as usual: “Crown Prince Brother.” As I passed by, I pretended to stumble and suddenly fell into his arms, boldly taking the opportunity to grope him twice.

Seeing him grit his teeth and glare at me, I quickly tried to get up and apologized, “Sorry, my legs went weak.”

“Zhang Qiuhe, behave yourself,” he warned softly, then more loudly and with concern, said, “Be careful.”

“Thank you for your concern, Crown Prince Brother.”

It was a magnificent night of lanterns. The scent of perfume and powder filled the streets. The young ladies were dressed in splendid finery, holding bright lotus lanterns, rabbit lanterns, and all sorts of delicate silk lanterns.

By the city moat, the sound of flowing water, the drums of dragon and lion dances, the chatter of scholars and beauties, the laughter of families, the cries of vendors selling masks, the bustle of selling lanterns and guessing riddles, and the booming of fireworks overhead all merged together in the brightly lit, bustling street.

Xiaotao excitedly dragged me to the old man making sugar figurines. We watched for a long while, and after much deliberation, she bought a rabbit-shaped sugar figurine and handed it to me. “Miss, I’ll let you have the first bite.”

I shook my head and pulled Xiaotao away to keep moving forward.

“Miss, isn’t that Steward Liu over at the stall buying sugar cubes?”

Following her gaze, I saw Steward Liu bent over a small stall, buying sugar cubes.

He happened to turn around, and our eyes met. We both fell silent.

By the willow trees beside the city moat, I kept picking at my palm and, with some difficulty, managed to ask, “How is he? Is he doing well?”

“It’s been over a month. He’s much better now. They say it takes a hundred days to heal bones and tendons. He’ll recover with a bit more time.”

“I’m sorry.”

Steward Liu sighed. “Second Miss, none of us blame you.”

Holding the packet of sugar cubes in his hand, he weighed his words and said, “This old servant watched Second Miss grow up. Deep down, I’ve always hoped you would be well. Life is hard for you, but it’s still much better than for those who cannot even clothe themselves. I hope Second Miss can live in peace and not go astray and narrow your own path.”

I held the two sugar cubes Steward Liu pressed into my hand and watched him walk onto the bridge, eventually disappearing into the endless crowd.

I broke off a sugar cube for myself. The sweet candy melted in my mouth, and the strong wind by the river made my eyes sting.

I’ve been unable to turn back for a long time. My path was always narrow.

Why should I compare myself to those who cannot even clothe themselves? Why can’t I compare myself to a concubine’s daughter from an ordinary official family?

Zhang Jingyan is the Grand Tutor, a man of the highest rank. His elder sister is the Empress – what a distinguished family.

Yet as his own daughter, I live worse than anyone.

Why should I compare myself to those who cannot even clothe themselves?