In my third year as Empress Dowager, my greatest fear is not the court officials, nor the brushes held by the court historians.
It is the moments when I wake from a dream in the dead of night and instinctively call out the name of Xie Wuyang.
As the palace lanterns flicker to life, I am reminded that three years ago, I was the one who personally wrote the secret order sending him to his death at Yanhui Ridge.