Chapter 4

Chapter 4

By now, I have been married to Cheng Wenting for seven years.

After the Crown Prince ascended the throne, his former Junior Tutor became the Minister of Ceremonies, a man who enjoyed the deep favor of the Emperor.

Xi’er was no longer the young maid who would blush at the slightest thing. She could instantly grasp the subtext in old Li Shiyin’s words.

That evening, while scrubbing my back during my bath, Xi’er began to plot. “I see the rash on your body has mostly faded, Madam. The Master hasn’t returned to the manor yet, but I’ve already told Fushun in the front courtyard to let us know the moment he arrives.

“When he does, I’ll go fetch him, saying you’re feeling unwell. Once the Master is here, you must find a way to make him stay…”

Li Shiyin’s Whole Turtle Poria Paste was indeed effective. Within half an hour of applying it, the hives had vanished.

Tonight, Xi’er had even gone through the trouble of scattering many dried flower petals into the bathwater.

But hearing her words, I only let out a sigh.

Xi’er knew why I was sighing. It was because Cheng Wenting and I had not shared a bed for a very long time.

How long had it been?

I truly couldn’t remember. Ever since our wedding, I seemed to have failed to win his favor.

My husband was a high-ranking official, as noble and distant as the bright moon. Countless noble ladies in the capital envied me. As his primary wife, I had always adhered to my duties, remaining virtuous and kind. I managed every detail of the household with such perfection that I was considered a model for the women of Shangjing.

Even my mother-in-law, a woman of many strict rules, could only find one fault when she nitpicked me: “She cannot bear children.”

While this fault was mine to bear, it wasn’t entirely my doing.

My mistake was on our wedding night, when I had wept without restraint. My crying had annoyed Cheng Wenting so much that he left to sleep in the study in the back courtyard.

Oh, I forgot to mention-in a courtyard on the west side of the back grounds lived a distant cousin of the Cheng Family.

This cousin’s name was Wei Shi. She was roughly the same age as me, with a face like a peach blossom and eyes like autumn ripples-a graceful beauty through and through.

That night, she had brought a jar of wine and tenderly comforted her cousin’s heart.

Although Cheng Wenting waited a year before taking Wei Shi as a concubine, Xi’er and my Wet Nurse were convinced that the two had been involved long before that.

Word had it that Wei Shi had lived with the Cheng Family for years, never leaving, all for the sake of becoming Cheng Wenting’s concubine in the future.

This was an open secret to my mother-in-law. Since Wei Shi had lost both parents at a young age and had been by her side for years, she had always been her favorite.

I didn’t know if Cheng Wenting shared that unspoken understanding, but the fact remained: I had married an excellent husband, yet before I could cultivate an excellent relationship with him, I had accidentally cried it all away.

To be honest, I have felt regret and chagrin.

I regretted not shutting my mouth before the wedding, which led to me receiving a slap from my father for no reason.

I felt chagrin for not shutting my mouth after the wedding, which provoked Cheng Wenting’s displeasure.

He did sleep with me a few times after that.

Though I didn’t cry again, he wasn’t as gentle as the first time. His behavior was quite rough and unrestrained, which caused me pain.

At the time, I was new to the affairs of men and women. I was consumed by fear, gritting my teeth every time with an expression as if I were facing death.

Over time, Cheng Wenting lost interest in touching me.

After the initial chagrin, I quickly recovered my spirits and began to treat him with the formal respect due between guests.

Back then, as a new wife, I thought that treating each other with such polite distance wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

But I forgot what my mother once said: “The first to arrive is the master; the latecomer is the subordinate. Human affection is as thin as paper; if you can hold onto even a fraction of it, you remain a treasure at the table.”

In the end, I held onto nothing. Despite being Cheng Wenting’s primary wife, I spent these years watching his deep affection for Wei Shi, who eventually gave birth to his first child.

Wei Shi was a very clever woman. When she was pregnant, she consulted with her aunt-my mother-in-law-and elevated a beautiful maid by her side to be Cheng Wenting’s concubine.

That maid was named Chunlan, and her loyalty to Wei Shi was absolute.

Since it was my mother-in-law who made the decision, it wasn’t my place to say anything.

Compared to the many wives and concubines of ordinary families, Cheng Wenting having only Wei Shi and Chunlan by his side was truly nothing.

Everyone in the capital said I was lucky. Because of Cheng Wenting’s status, I had attained the title of Third-Rank Commandery Lady at a young age. Even though I had failed to conceive after years of marriage, I had never been scorned by my husband’s family.