Chapter 20

Chapter 20

From that day forward, Liang Zhi and I never explicitly confessed our feelings to one another.

I carefully hid the wooden hairpin he gave me inside a golden casket.

At the time, I had no idea what the road ahead held.

In this life, everyone is merely crossing the river by feeling for stones. It is human instinct to harbor delusions of luck, because everyone believes they are special.

It was just as I had once told Liang Zhi: Ah Yuan was not a paper kite, but a great bird of the Southern Sea, thousands of miles long.

In my youth, my heart was so arrogant and wild.

I thought that even if I could not become the great bird of the Southern Sea, I would surely be a kite perched upon a branch, ready to spread its wings and soar.

But later, my mother made me realize once again that Ah Yuan was just a paper kite.

A paper kite tethered by a string, never destined to fly beyond the Xie Family walls.

For reasons unknown, the wooden hairpin I had cherished for half a year was discovered by my mother.

That day, when I woke from my afternoon nap, I was met with her livid face.

Xi’er, my Wet Nurse, and two other servants who attended to my courtyard were all kneeling on the floor, not daring to breathe.

Mother sat in her chair and threw the wooden hairpin down in front of me, sneering, “Where did this come from?”

My mind went blank for a moment, and I couldn’t help but shudder.

I knelt on the floor, saying nothing.

Mother was a very clever woman. Given her lifetime of experience surviving in the world, any lie or excuse I could offer would be a waste of time.

I knew that with her and Father’s temperaments, the moment I uttered Liang Zhi’s name, his life would be in peril.

So I knelt and kowtowed, begging only for her forgiveness while refusing to say a word.

In a fit of rage, Mother locked me in my room and interrogated Xi’er and my Wet Nurse.

She ordered Xi’er to be tortured, tied to a long bench and beaten until her body was covered in wounds.

Xi’er never confessed, not even when she lost consciousness.

Inside the room, I cried heart-wrenchingly, pounding desperately on the door.

“Mother, I was wrong! I won’t do it again! Please let Xi’er go! I promise I’ll be obedient from now on!”

That day, I imagined the worst possible outcomes-

If I gave up Liang Zhi’s name, he would die.

If I refused to speak, Xi’er would die.

In my agony, I chose a third option: I gritted my teeth and threw myself against the table in the room.

I wasn’t truly seeking death; I only wanted to use this method to pressure my mother into letting Xi’er go.

The tactic worked. I was unconscious for a full day, and when I woke, I saw Mother sitting by the bed, looking at me with a smile.

She tucked in my covers and said with a faint, inscrutable grin, “My daughter has grown up; you’ve even learned how to use a death protest.

“Yuan Niang, do not blame Mother for being cold-hearted. I was young once too, and I know what youthful infatuation means for a young girl. It will ruin your entire life, do you understand?

“As the saying goes, a parent’s love for their child means planning for their long-term future. I do not wish for you to suffer too much. It is hard enough for a woman to stand in this world; one wrong move on the chessboard and the whole game is lost. There is no turning back.

“I will keep today’s matter from your father. I am giving you a chance, but you must change. Remember what you promised.”

Mother agreed not to pursue the matter further.

I looked at her with a dazed expression, then knelt up in bed and kowtowed to her.