Chapter 8
Chapter 8
Yin Zhi was very generous; he gave me the snacks along with the plate they were on.
The first thing I did upon returning to White Deer Terrace was to grab Doukou with one hand while holding the plate in the other, then shut the doors to the bedchamber.
“Eat,” I said, pinching a piece of the snack and holding it to her lips. “Eat, Doukou.”
“Your Ladyship, you mustn’t!” Doukou hurriedly stopped me, her expression both terrified and solemn. “These are imperial gifts. How could a servant like me be so presumptuous?”
I insisted on giving it to her, comforting her by saying, “It’s alright. We’ll eat them quietly, and no one will know.” It was just a snack. Since Yin Zhi gave it to me, it belonged to me. I figured letting Doukou have a taste wasn’t a big deal.
“I tried a piece back at Heqing Hall just now, and it had the scent of osmanthus,” I said, licking my lips as I savored the memory. “I thought to myself, Doukou loves the scent of osmanthus most of all, so she’ll definitely love this snack too.”
Perhaps because I was so persistent, Doukou stopped refusing and took it from me. I watched with a beaming smile as she took small, elegant bites. I thought she looked so pretty; just like these snacks, she always smelled sweet and felt soft. I liked her so, so much.
But as she ate, tears began to fall from her eyes.
I panicked and quickly used my hand to wipe them away. “Doukou, Doukou, why are you crying?”
Doukou didn’t speak; she only shook her head.
Suddenly, I remembered the string of things I had said to Yin Zhi as I was leaving Heqing Hall-how good he was and how much I liked him. I had said those things to Doukou many times before. She had been right beside me just now and heard it all. Could she think that I didn’t want to be her friend anymore?
Or did she think I was lying when I said I liked her?
That wouldn’t do at all!
“Don’t worry.” I took Doukou’s hand and looked at her with great solemnity. “I did say I liked Ah Zhi just now, but-”
“I like Doukou too. I’m not playing favorites!”
Doukou looked at me blankly. I felt certain I had guessed correctly, so I let out a very grown-up sigh. “So don’t worry. Even if Ah Zhi is here, the two of us are still the very best of friends.”
“How can that be the same?”
She laughed through her tears, looking utterly helpless. “Your Ladyship’s affection for the Emperor is different from your affection for Doukou.”
“How is it different?” I grew anxious, explaining over and over for fear that she would be even more upset if I waited a moment longer. “It’s the same! It’s the same!”
Doukou stopped crying. Her beautiful eyes searched mine before a look of sudden realization dawned on her.
“…Your Ladyship is still young.”
Her voice was gentle, like that of an older sister. “If it’s the same, then I suppose that’s for the best.”
Seeing that she was no longer sad, I finally felt at ease and hurried her along. “Quickly, Doukou, eat the snacks. These delicious treats are all for you. No one else is allowed to eat them.”
Doukou teased me, “Not even Your Ladyship?”
“Mm-hmm!” I nodded vigorously to show I was serious. “Not even me!”
No one was allowed to take what I gave her, not even myself. This was likely one of my few stubborn streaks.
After finishing one piece, Doukou refused to eat any more. She carefully wrapped the remaining snacks up.
I looked at her in confusion.
“I’m not hungry,” Doukou said, unable to resist patting my head. She rarely made such gestures, as she considered them overstepping her bounds.
“I like Your Ladyship’s snacks very much, so I want to save them to eat slowly.”
I nodded. I pulled an orange from my robe and held it, looking at it over and over. I was just about to tell Doukou, “Then I’ll save this to eat slowly too,” when I suddenly remembered that I hadn’t finished my conversation with Yin Zhi.
“Oh no!” I scratched my head in frustration, looking at Doukou while feeling a bit angry at my own poor memory. “I forgot to ask Ah Zhi-”
“Is he feeling better from his illness?”