Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Suddenly, a minister in the court submitted a memorial opposing the appointment of Lin Yue as Empress. As several others stepped forward, objections were raised one after another.

I heard that Chi Yan flew into a great rage and even imprisoned an elderly minister on the spot for speaking disrespectfully.

The situation escalated, and rumors among the common people grew even more malicious, saying that Lin Yue was a Demon Empress who had bewitched the sovereign.

Every day, more and more concubines came to my palace, hoping to seize the opportunity to win me over and join them in kicking Lin Yue while she was down.

Chi Yan was a man who looked at the big picture, yet this time he stubbornly refused to withdraw the decree.

The situation in the court was on the verge of exploding. Some people were even saying behind his back that Chi Yan was obsessed with beauty and disregarded the will of the people; they claimed that in time, he would surely neglect state affairs and cause a great disaster.

Like many others, I was waiting to watch Lin Yue’s downfall.

I even hoped that Lin Yue would fall to the bottom of the abyss and taste the bitterness of being reviled by everyone. Ideally, the stress would affect her pregnancy, causing her to miscarry and ensuring she could never conceive again for the rest of her life.

Unexpectedly, there was another reversal.

The plague in the Southern Territories had been a problem for a long time. Some refugees fleeing for their lives had even flooded into the city, and the disease was highly contagious.

With so many Imperial Physicians in the palace and so many doctors in Dayan, not a single person had come up with a strategy to suppress it.

Yet Lin Yue actually managed to research a cure all at once!

This not only solved Dayan’s urgent crisis but also won the hearts of the people.

The voices in court opposing her investiture as Empress gradually died down. Instead, everyone began singing praises of Lin Yue’s great achievements.

She really is something…

Sometimes I couldn’t help but marvel at how dazzling Lin Yue was, so much so that everyone’s eyes could only stay fixed on her.

And I could only curl up in a dark corner. Even if I did the most despicable and shameless things, I couldn’t get a single backward glance from Chi Yan.

The date for the Empress Investiture Ceremony was set for the Ninth Day of the Month, next month. It was a rare auspicious day.

On the day the imperial edict was promulgated, Chi Yan came to see me.

It was the first time he had come to the Phoenix Brocade Palace since I was promoted to Noble Consort.

“It has been many days since I last came to see you.”

Though he sat upright at the table as usual, there was a smile in his eyes that he couldn’t hide.

He was happy.

When he was in a good mood, his way of speaking to me possessed a rare, lingering tenderness.

I poured him a cup of peach blossom wine and sat opposite him, pouring a cup for myself as well.

This was the last jar of peach blossom wine.

“Yue’er’s prescription has not only solved Dayan’s troubles but mine as well.”

I drank cup after cup. Chu Jue had taught me how to brew this peach blossom wine. Its fragrance was elegant and the alcohol was not strong; instead, it had a sweet, fruity peach flavor. No matter how much I drank, I wouldn’t get drunk.

He hesitated for a moment, then said, “Noble Consort, I want to ask you for something.”

“I remember your mother gave you a piece of jade carved with the character for ‘Heart’?”

The hand I was using to pour the wine paused slightly. I wanted to stop him before he finished his sentence.

“That actually belonged to Yue’er’s mother. Yue’er never met her mother. Although she doesn’t say it, I know she still cares deeply.”

He gently took my hand. “Jinrong, could you…”

“That is a memento from my mother.”

“I know, but didn’t your mother leave you many things? Besides, this didn’t belong to your mother; it belonged to Yue’er’s mother.”

“Yue’er has performed a great service this time. I want to give her a special reward.”

I let out a scoff. “Your Majesty has already given her the position of Empress. Is that not a special enough reward?”

He froze for a moment, then turned his head away, looking somewhat displeased. “I thought that since you have been behaving yourself lately, you had already come to your senses and were no longer obsessed with the position of Empress.”

He thought?

So that was why he had no qualms about saying these things in front of me.

“What makes you think I must give the jade to her? And what makes you think I must follow your wishes and fulfill your desires?”

Chi Yan’s expression began to turn impatient. “I am not forcing you. If you are unwilling, then so be it.”

I picked up my wine cup and swallowed a mouthful greedily. My tone grew cold. “Once, when we were listening to a storyteller at a tavern, he said that one cannot have everything in this world. Lin Yue is truly shameless; she wants everything.”

She wanted to snatch everything away from me.

“Enough.” He flicked his sleeve and stood up. “There is no need for you to be so sarcastic and constantly bring up the past. I did indeed make promises to you before, but I have also been trying my best to make it up to you. You have committed many wrongs, and I have tolerated you time and time again. Do not exhaust all of my patience.”
I lowered my eyes and fell silent. There was truly nothing left to say. Seeing him protect another woman so brazenly in front of me still caused a surge of uncontrollable heartache.

“Tell me, Your Majesty, what exactly did I do wrong?”

He knit his brows and looked at me, then shifted his gaze away as if he couldn’t bear the sight. “Enough, enough. It’s always like this whenever I speak with you. I am leaving.”

“Oh. I wish Your Majesty a safe journey.”

He stopped abruptly and turned back to look at me in confusion.

He was waiting for my explanation, my rebuttal, my honeyed words, or my relentless clinging and hysterics.

Once I acted out of character, he became bewildered and unsettled instead.

“Jinrong… you…” He trailed off, his expression a mix of confusion and conflict, as if something were holding him back.

I sat back down at the table and drained the wine from his cup. It was peach blossom wine I had brewed myself; Chi Yan hadn’t taken a single sip.

A moment later, his expression twisted slightly as he asked an unexpected question.

“…Have you truly let go of me?” He changed his form of address, no longer referring to himself as “This Emperor.”

I turned my back and remained silent.

I wanted to give him a free and easy, firm answer-yes, I’ve let go of you. You’ve fallen in love with someone else, so am I not allowed to let go of you?

Unfortunately, I couldn’t do it.

Because I still loved him.

I sat in silence for a long time. The night had grown deep, and he had likely already left.

Only then did I let out a helpless, sorrowful sigh.

“…I can’t forget you.”

When I make pastries, I subconsciously use less sugar because I know Chi Yan doesn’t like things too sweet.

When I go to the market and see a familiar spot, I remember that Chi Yan once brought me there, and I stand frozen for half an hour, unable to move.

I only ever wanted to drink the wine under the peach blossom tree with Chi Yan. When I fly a kite, I wonder if he sees it too, if he’ll think of me and come to visit.

Years ago, I embroidered a pair of mandarin ducks playing in the water for him. He said they were ugly, and I ran back to my manor and cried for days.

I think of him every waking moment.

I don’t even know which will happen first: forgetting him or forgetting myself.

I gave a calm smile. “Sometimes I really feel it isn’t worth it. You don’t love me anymore, so why am I still so persistent? But I just can’t accept it.”

Because I’ve never understood why I’m the one who has to let go, the one who has to step aside. Why do they get to be a happy couple while I’m the only one in pain?

Chi Yan was mine from the very beginning.

I hate how they always stand on the moral high ground, looking down at me with self-righteousness, blaming me for not being graceful enough, for not being bold enough to love and hate freely.

I still remember how Chi Yan once vowed to me that he would never fall for Lin Yue.

Now, it only feels ironic and laughable.

My eyes grew red and wet. “You have no right to discard me whenever you please. You were the one who said, with your own lips, that you wouldn’t love her.”

Only silence answered me.

I looked at the jujube paste cakes on the table. I had spent the whole afternoon making them, and Chi Yan hadn’t eaten a single piece.

Just as I picked up the plate, Chi Yan’s voice sounded from behind me.

“Jinrong.”

He hadn’t left?

I turned around hesitantly. He stood there, his eyes slightly wide. He lowered his eyelids again, struggling several times before walking over to stand before me, gazing at me with rapt attention.

“How could you think that? I never intended to discard you. Didn’t I tell you that you still have a place in my heart?”

That hint of dark red at the corners of his narrow eyes was intoxicating, like a tender gesture, like a trap.

I wanted to jump in without looking back, yet I was more sober than anyone.

He was lying.

He was deceiving me.

This was his usual method of coaxing me; it was fake. This was what he was best at.

“Don’t cry. I have neglected you lately.” He stepped closer, his rough thumb brushing away the tears at the corner of my eye, using the same tone and voice as he had in the past.

“Don’t be afraid. I will stay by your side forever.”

He pulled me into his arms. I leaned against his chest, habitually listening to his heartbeat. It was a familiar warmth, a familiar scent. I savored that word “forever.”

Forever…

Lies really are beautiful, moving, and absolutely nauseating.