Chapter 2

Chapter 2

In the first year of his reign, Chi Yan brought me into the palace. However, he did not crown me Empress; instead, he only titled me Consort Rong.

Though I was angry, my resolve to become Empress had long since been worn away by him. I only wished that he still had a place for me in his heart and would allow me to remain by his side.

He didn’t crown Lin Yue Empress either.

I knew it was out of wariness toward the Lin Family. There had to be a system of checks and balances in the court; the Lin Family could not be allowed to become the sole dominant power. Thus, he only titled Lin Yue as Consort Xian.

Lin Yue was not much better off than I was, yet she didn’t seem as heartbroken as I did, likely because she didn’t love him as much as I did.

Chi Yan was very busy. He often wouldn’t set foot in the harem for half a month at a time. When he did come, he went to Lin Yue’s quarters, rarely visiting mine. On the rare occasions he did visit, he hardly spoke.

When we were together, we were distant and estranged. We no longer spoke as freely as we once had; every word was a probe. I became cautious, fearing his rejection, while he became taciturn, fearing I harbored ulterior motives.

He asked me why I had changed.

Why was I no longer as bright, as simple, or as joyful as before?

I asked him if he still loved me as he once had.

He froze for a moment and, unexpectedly, said nothing.

My heart sank. Perhaps he had never loved me at all.

“Consort Rong, you only need to remember that I have you in my heart.”

“Mm.” I nodded, leaning into his embrace.

Chi Yan liked me, but I wasn’t the only one he liked, nor was I the one he liked most.

On the days Chi Yan didn’t come, I spent most of my time staring blankly into space or taking my anger out on the palace maids and eunuchs. Gradually, my reputation soured.

My father stopped visiting me when he came to the palace. My grandmother did visit once, only to say I had become tyrannical and beyond saving. She told me to stop hurting Lin Yue and to stop piling mistake upon mistake.

I had tried to harm Lin Yue once. I pushed her into the lotus pond, attempting to drown her. I foolishly thought that if Lin Yue were dead, everything would return to the way it was before.

But I hadn’t expected Chi Yan to jump in after her without a moment’s hesitation. He carried her out of the pond, his expression frantic as he breathed air into her lungs, over and over, until Lin Yue coughed up water and woke.

He held her tightly against his chest as if she were the most precious treasure of his life.

“Yue’er, I was wrong. It’s you I love, you I yearn for. I won’t let you leave me!”

Lin Yue wept as she embraced him. “I know. I won’t leave you. I want to be with you for all eternity.”

I witnessed their great, life-defying love, and in doing so, I laid to rest the pathetic, laughable devotion of my youth.

Chi Yan confined me to the Phoenix Brocade Palace. In his eyes, I could no longer find even a trace of lingering affection-only loathing and resentment.

Those beautiful, upturned phoenix eyes looked down at me with cold indifference.

“Consort Rong, I advise you: he who commits many injustices will surely bring about his own destruction.”

Yes, he who commits many injustices will surely bring about his own destruction.

Chi Yan betrayed his vows, and Lin Yue stole another’s love. I hope you both commit many injustices and bring about your own destruction soon!

I lived every day fueled by that conviction. I became irritable and short-tempered, turning into a thoroughly wicked, abandoned woman.

No one cared about me, yet no one dared to defy me. As long as Chi Yan didn’t strip me of my title, I was still Consort Rong, still the mistress of this palace.

Everyone said I was still the indelible moonlight in Chi Yan’s heart; that no matter how much evil I did, he wouldn’t kill me. No matter how many people in the palace despised me, they were powerless against me.

And so, I continued to live shamelessly.

In the third spring, I had a Peach Tree planted in the courtyard, but the blossoms didn’t bloom well. They say the palace has the best feng shui, yet it couldn’t even sustain a single peach tree.

In a daze, I remembered the Peach Tree my father had planted specifically for me. I wondered if it still remained in our family courtyard.

Likely not.

I set down my teacup, finding the taste dull. The Imperial Household Department was becoming increasingly negligent; lately, they hadn’t even sent tea that was fit to drink.

It seemed that being a quiet, forgotten, abandoned wife was worse than being the cruel, heartless villainess they claimed I was. At least they wouldn’t dare deny the villainess her tea.

“Your Majesty, the Imperial Household Department has sent the eunuchs on duty.”

I gave them a cursory glance. They were a few green-looking boys who seemed useless. Chi Yan had removed my previous servants, leaving only Zhi Hong by my side.

“Mm. Go and take up your posts.”

“This servant takes his leave.”

As I looked up again, I noticed a Eunuch at the very end of the line who looked remarkably like a younger Chi Yan. At first glance, they were practically identical.

I froze for a long moment. As they were leaving, I called them back and pointed at him.

“What is your name?”

The Eunuch lowered his head and stepped out from the group. “This servant is Chu Jue. Greetings, Consort Rong.”

I stared at him, looking him over again and again.

He really was similar. He looked like him, and even his voice sounded like him.

“Chu Jue, come sit beside me,” I said, pointing to the chair next to me.

He lifted his eyes to glance at me before quickly looking down again. Timidly, he said, “Your Majesty, this servant is of lowly status. Your Majesty is of noble birth; please do not let this servant’s presence offend you.”

Hearing those words spoken by a face so similar to Chi Yan’s was incredibly amusing.

“Then come closer. I have a few questions for you.”

At my words, he shuffled forward a few small steps.

I let out a short laugh and stood up to walk toward him. However, the Phoenix Coronet on my head was heavy and clattered loudly, forcing me to walk slowly and deliberately.

He lifted his eyes again, stealing a glance at me.

His eyes were just like Chi Yan’s-tender phoenix eyes. But while Chi Yan’s eyes were slightly upturned, hiding calculation and sharpness, this boy’s eyes were peaceful, devoid of any hidden agenda.

The closer I got, the more I thought they looked alike; yet another glance made me feel they weren’t alike at all.

Just as I was caught in this internal conflict, my foot tripped, and I tumbled straight forward.
As always, I was afraid of pain, so I squeezed my eyes shut.

A powerful arm wrapped around my waist and caught me. Through a haze, I looked up at him.

The panic on his face hadn’t yet faded, and his eyes were filled with worry. “Your Majesty, are you alright?”

My eyes reddened.

“Was Your Majesty injured anywhere?”

He looked at me with a solemn expression.

I curled my lips and gazed silently at the peach blossom tree behind him. “No. Where else could I possibly be hurt?”

Only then did he breathe a sigh of relief. He cupped his hands and lowered his head. “It was an emergency just now, and this servant was presumptuous. I hope Your Majesty will forgive me.”

I suddenly felt a bit tired.

“Chu Jue, if you aren’t busy, stay and admire the flowers with me for a while. Though the peach blossoms haven’t bloomed well this year, their fragrance is elegantly light.”

I lay back down on the chaise longue.

Chu Jue stood there as if fighting an internal battle for a long time. The head Eunuch had already led the others away. He glanced at the only maidservant by my side and finally walked over, albeit reluctantly.

Whether it was out of pity, charity, or because I was still technically his master, he came to my side and forced himself to accompany me in admiring the flowers.

“How old is Chu Jue this year?”

“Nineteen.”

“Why did you enter the palace to become a Eunuch?”

“There was a famine at the end of last year. My whole family died.”

“Oh. Then is there anything you want? Stay by my side, and I will give you whatever I can.”

He shook his head. “Nothing.”

I wanted to stretch, but I was Consort Rong. Even if my former glory was gone, I could not let myself become undisciplined.

“How can there be nothing?”

He cupped his hands again, his tone sincere. “This servant… only wants to live.”

I let out a soft laugh. “Fine. Then live well.”

The spring breeze brushed past, gentle and calm, carrying the refined scent of peach blossoms. It made one want to linger in this moment of tranquility.

Peach petals swirled down in the wind. I reached out my hand, trying to catch one.

But though it seemed close, it remained just out of reach, no matter how hard I tried.

Just like the past…

Chu Jue walked over, picked up that petal, and tucked it into his palm. He walked to me and opened his hand.

“Did Your Majesty wish to catch this?”

I looked at the flower in his hand, then followed his arm up to his face. Though he had looked eighty percent like him just a moment ago, now that he was smiling, he didn’t look like him at all.

When Chu Jue smiled, his eyes curved. It wasn’t just a curve of the lips; even his eyes were brimming with mirth.

I had never seen such a sincere smile on Chi Yan’s face.

I blew the petal from his palm in one breath, my tone indifferent. “Don’t smile in the future. It’s ugly.”

His smile faded bit by bit. He silently withdrew his hand, seemingly confused, but he asked nothing. He simply bowed his head.

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

In the fourth year of Chi Yan’s reign, my father passed away. I did not go back, nor did I ask about it.

I admit I am a cold-hearted person. Once I have determined to be disappointed in someone, I will no longer expend even a shred of effort on them.

All these years, my father never came into the palace to see me. No one would associate me with the illustrious Duke Lin. When people mentioned the daughters of the Lin Family, they only spoke of the favored Consort Xian. I never enjoyed a bit of the Lin Family’s peak, yet I experienced their decline quite vividly.

Chu Jue buried peach blossom wine under the tree, saying we could drink it next year so that I wouldn’t have to drink bitter tea anymore.

I thought that sounded nice, so I buried a few more jars.

I hope I can drink more of it next year.

After my father died, Chi Yan purged the court, settled internal and external affairs, pacified Yizhou, and pulled down many stubborn old officials.

His throne became more and more secure.

He was preparing to invest an Empress.

He came to sit with me and suddenly asked, “If I appoint you as Noble Consort, would that be good?”

“No.”

The tenderness he had finally shown me vanished instantly. He frowned and questioned me in a testing tone, “Then what do you want to be?”

“I want to be Empress.”

He flicked his sleeves and stood up, his eyes darkening. “Empress?”

I walked up to him and looked at him defiantly. “His Majesty once promised me that if you were Emperor, I would be Empress. Has His Majesty forgotten?”

“I did promise you, but now…”

“Now that His Majesty has settled the realm and is governing diligently for the people’s peace, let the investiture of the Empress be pushed back. I am in no hurry.”

I was escaping the fact that Chi Yan did not love me, numbing myself to the sorrow of being unable to even hold onto a past promise.

In my heart, I resented him for treating me this way, yet I also understood why he did it.

I often tried to soothe myself by looking at things from his perspective. Love is something that cannot be forced. Chi Yan falling in love with Lin Yue was an outcome I couldn’t avoid.

Chi Yan turned his head away and remained silent for a long time. Finally, he let out a few soft sighs, as if making a decision out of helplessness. “Fine.”

He didn’t mention the investiture again, but in the court, memorials were constantly being submitted. New women were constantly entering the harem, batch after batch.

Unfortunately, not one of those beautiful women could ever compare to Lin Yue.

“Chu Jue, tell me, who is prettier? Me or Lin Yue?”

Chu Jue answered calmly, “Your Majesty is prettier.”

I laughed happily, but soon fell into despondency again. Chu Jue covered me with a blanket and urged me to stop worrying so much.

My worries and thoughts were always tied to Chi Yan.

If Chi Yan came to see me, I was happy. If he didn’t, I was sad. If he did come but was thinking of another woman, I would get angry and pick fights with him, which only made him find me more annoying.

I admit I was testing his limits. Only through his tolerance of me could I prove that perhaps he still liked me.

That he still had a place for me in his heart…