Chapter 3
Chapter 3
In the year Ah Ying turned nineteen, Gu Yanzhi met Shen Zhiheng.
It was late spring when the Empress Dowager held a flower banquet at Cining Palace, inviting the noblewomen of the capital to admire the peonies. The Shen Family was a clan of scholarly reputation, and Shen Zhiheng, the daughter of the Minister of Rites, was gentle and dignified. She always spoke with a faint smile, like a spring breeze brushing against willow branches.
Gu Yanzhi usually disliked such occasions, but because the Young Emperor was attending, he had no choice but to go.
Ah Ying remained hidden as usual, perched high beneath the eaves of the corridor.
She watched as Shen Zhiheng steadied the Young Emperor in the wind just as he was about to trip. Her sleeves brushed against the bluestone floor as she spoke softly, “Be careful, Your Majesty.”
Gu Yanzhi paused in his tracks and gave her an extra look.
That look didn’t last long, nor could it even be called a lapse in composure, but Ah Ying noticed it regardless.
A man like Gu Yanzhi rarely took notice of anyone. Yet that day, when he looked at Shen Zhiheng, his gaze was softer than usual.
Later, the Shen Family visited the Prince’s Mansion to discuss disaster relief efforts, and Shen Zhiheng personally delivered the ledgers. While she waited outside the study, the evening wind made her cough twice. Gu Yanzhi actually ordered his servants to bring out a charcoal brazier and had the kitchen send over a cup of ginger tea.
Standing on the rafters, Ah Ying’s fingers tightened inch by inch.
For the first time, she realized that Gu Yanzhi was capable of caring for someone.
It was just that the person wasn’t her.
That night, she went to the Cold Palace and wrote a line in her thin notebook.
“Today, the Prince had a charcoal fire brought to Miss Shen.”
After writing it, she stared at the words for a long time before adding another sentence beside them.
“The weather is very cold, but it wasn’t for me.”
As the ink bled into the paper, she suddenly felt an old wound in her chest being torn open again. When the wind blew, even the marrow of her bones felt chilled.
Shen Zhiheng began to visit the Regent Prince’s Mansion more and more frequently.
There were whispers in the court that the Prince Regent, who had avoided women for years, finally intended to marry. The Empress Dowager was pleased to see it happen, and the civil and military officials were even more desperate for Gu Yanzhi to marry into a scholarly family, hoping it would somewhat temper the sharp edges of the man who held absolute power.
Gu Yanzhi did not deny the rumors.
Once, Shen Zhiheng came to the mansion to view a lost ancient painting. As evening approached, a heavy rain began to fall. Gu Yanzhi personally held an umbrella to escort her out. He tilted the umbrella toward her, shielding her completely, while his own shoulder was soaked by the rain.
Ah Ying stood at the corner of the eaves. The raindrops sliding down her forehead felt as cold as fine needles.
She suddenly remembered the year she was seventeen, when she had pursued an assassin for Gu Yanzhi through a rainy night. After returning to the mansion, she had collapsed with a high fever and remained unconscious for three days. Back then, Gu Yanzhi had only sent her a single sentence.
“Once she wakes up, have her continue her duties.”
It turned out that the same rain, when falling on different people, carried such different weights.
From then on, Gu Yanzhi ordered Ah Ying to devote half of her energy to secretly protecting Shen Zhiheng.
“If anything happens to her, I will hold you solely responsible.”
Ah Ying knelt and obeyed. Her voice was steady, without a single tremor.
But as she turned to leave, her hand trembled inside her sleeve.
She had guarded Gu Yanzhi for over a decade, and now she had to guard another girl for him.
That girl was gentle and pure. She would rescue injured birds by the roadside, distribute leftover winter charcoal to the poor, and secretly plead for mercy when the Young Emperor was punished for being playful. There was almost nothing to dislike about her.
Ah Ying couldn’t even bring herself to hate her.
She only felt a dull, aching pain in her chest whenever she saw Gu Yanzhi smile at Shen Zhiheng. It didn’t feel like an open wound; it felt as if a hand was reaching through her flesh and slowly squeezing her heart.
While changing her bandages, Bai Qingheng said, “The wounds on the outside can be treated, but the one in your heart cannot.”
Ah Ying replied indifferently, “It shouldn’t have been there in the first place.”
Bai Qingheng looked up at her and waited a long time before whispering, “Ah Ying, if a person never treats themselves like a human being, they will eventually die without a sound.”
Ah Ying gave a small smile but did not answer.
She had long since grown used to silence.