chapter 6

Leaving the hospital, I didn’t go home.

I drove to my parents’ place instead.

Mom froze for a second when she opened the door, then broke into a smile. “How come you suddenly came back?”

I forced a bit of a smile. “I suddenly missed you two.”

Mom glanced behind me. “Where’s Zhou Mu? Didn’t he come with you?”

“He’s in the hospital.”

“In the hospital!? What happened?”

“He hit his head. The doctor said it’s nothing serious.”

I left out the part about Aunt Song.

“Then why aren’t you staying with him?”

Mom’s smile turned a little sly.

She’s always been open-minded. She’s long since seen through my feelings for Zhou Mu but pretends not to know, and even quietly advertises me in front of him.

“Classmate Xiao Jin, after all these years of secretly pining, you finally got what you wanted.”

“You’d better hold on tight.”

That’s not it.

It’s not that I got what I wanted.

I only just found out.

What I thought was luck

was just Zhou Mu settling for me because he couldn’t marry the one he really loves.

I’ve liked Zhou Mu since I was little.

My parents were always busy.

When Zhou Mu came home from school and saw me squatting by my front door waiting for my mom and dad, he would take me back with him.

He’d help me with my homework or watch anime with me.

That night my parents still hadn’t come back even though it was already late.

I fell asleep reading manga in Zhou Mu’s room, and when I jolted awake, thunder was booming outside and lightning was tearing across the sky.

I’d had a nightmare, then got scared again by the thunder.

I wailed that I wanted my mom and dad.

Zhou Mu rushed in from the next room, one of his slippers flying off somewhere along the way.

“Xiao Jin!”

My face was covered in tears and snot, and Zhou Mu couldn’t help but laugh.

He grabbed some wet wipes and cleaned my face, wiping as he comforted me:

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“It was just a dream.”

But the more he tried to soothe me, the harder I cried.

Eventually I cried myself out and drifted off again.

I was still clutching Zhou Mu’s hand, refusing to let go.

I only remember him standing by the bed, telling me he’d stay with me.

“Will you always stay with me?”

“Yeah.”

“Will you always, always, always stay with me?”

“Yeah.”

I’ve long known that offhand promises don’t mean much.

But if feelings could be controlled,

I wouldn’t have thrown myself at the flame and loved him for so many years.