Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The moment the elevator doors slid shut, I caught a glimpse of my expressionless face reflected in the metal.

A sharp cramp twisted in my gut.

Actually, in the beginning, my relationship with Jiang Yu wasn’t always this bad.

When we were children, although she didn’t like me, she never did anything truly excessive or said anything too cruel.

Compared to our father, who treated me like I was invisible, Jiang Yu was my sister-the only person I felt close to.

Back then, I thought that even if Jiang Yu didn’t like me, we were still family. That was just the nature of blood ties.

Everything changed in middle school when Tang Chu came to live with us.

That was when I realized.

My sister was actually capable of being that kind to someone.

She didn’t always have a cold face around him; she didn’t tell him to “get lost,” and she didn’t subject him to cold mockery and sarcasm.

That was how a real sister was supposed to treat a brother.

But Tang Chu wasn’t satisfied with just that.

On the fifth day after he transferred to my middle school, I came home from class only to be met with a vicious slap across the face from Jiang Yu.

I clutched my cheek and stared at her, dazed, as she spat out words I couldn’t understand.

Ring-leader.

Bad seed.

Vicious.

Apologize.

But then I saw Tang Chu standing behind her, protected. His head was bowed as he gripped the hem of her shirt.

Those fragmented words suddenly pieced themselves together in my mind into one complete lie.

I tried to defend myself.

She didn’t believe me.

The argument that erupted that day, and her obvious favoritism, shattered my once naive and foolish thoughts in an instant.

Jiang Yu wasn’t some idiot who couldn’t tell right from wrong.

It was simply that she chose not to.

It was only then that I seemed to wake up to the reality of the situation.

My sister truly, genuinely harbored a deep-seated hatred for me.

From then on, our relationship deteriorated rapidly.

Unfortunately, as dull and childish as I was back then, I thought that rather than letting her treat me like a stranger-the way Dad did-it was better to antagonize her.

At least that way,

Jiang Yu would actually see me.

Our volatile, sword-at-each-other’s-throats relationship lasted until I was eighteen.

The year I turned eighteen, I was dragged into hell.

After eighteen, my relationship with Jiang Yu abruptly shifted; we became strangers.

It was like a war that had come to a sudden, grinding halt.

We no longer argued, no longer became hysterical, and no longer stood in opposition to one another.

We were just cold, acting as if we didn’t know each other at all.

By the time I finished the paperwork and headed home, the sky was pitch black.

The streetlights in the residential complex weren’t on yet, and I could only see the warm yellow glow emanating from the houses across the way.

The abdominal pain had persisted from the afternoon until now.

I curled up on the sofa as hunger and pain crawled over my body. I struggled to get up and open the refrigerator.

A nauseating smell of rot hit me full force. I only then remembered that the last time I had opened this fridge was over a month ago.

I grabbed a handful of greens, gave them a quick rinse, and placed them on the cutting board. The sound of the knife falling was uneven and erratic.

Bright red blood dripped onto the emerald leaves, blooming like a metallic-scented flower.

I froze for a moment.

Pain blossomed from the wound, and I finally realized the knife had cut my hand.

When the impulse rose, I couldn’t suppress it.

New scars intersected with the old, and now another was added.

It extended from my arm down to my wrist.

The knife clattered to the floor. I sank to my knees, gasping for air.

It felt like I was losing control more and more, unable to stop myself from self-harming.

The doctor used to say:

When an episode hits, you must take your medication.

But I didn’t take it.

He also said to let your family stay by your side more often.

“Jiang Zhe, communicate more with your family. Feel what it’s like to be loved.”

“It will be good for your condition.”

But…

I stared at the winding trail of blood.

But I don’t have a family.