Chapter 18

I pressed on, unwilling to let it go: “Didn’t any of you ever tell the adults at home?”

The three of them were clearly stunned.

It was Deng Xingxing who finally broke the silence: “Ji Xia, do you know? If we had a choice, who would join the Ballet Club?”

I pondered her words carefully. Yes, wasn’t it because of my family’s difficulties that I came to the club?

Deng Xingxing began to tell her story through tears:

“When I was very young, my parents divorced. I was assigned to my father, and later both of them started new families. I was like a ball, kicked back and forth between them. In the end, it was my elderly grandmother who couldn’t bear it anymore and used her pension to raise me. But my grandmother passed away when I was in my second year of high school.”

“I had no choice but to come to Renwen University, because they waive tuition and subsidize living expenses every semester. I heard that joining a club could even exempt me from accommodation fees. I do some part-time work on the side, and it’s more than enough for my studies and living.”

“I thought this place was heaven, but I didn’t expect it to be hell. When things first started happening, I struggled for a long time. I was ashamed to speak, tossing and turning, thinking about it for ages, and finally decided to tell my mother.”

“She’s my mother, she’s a woman, surely she would understand me, surely she would help me. That’s what I naively thought.”

“But I didn’t expect her to tell me that this kind of thing must be kept secret, that speaking out would ruin my reputation. Even if I didn’t think of myself, I should think of the sister she had with my stepfather-a dirty older sister would affect the younger one.”

“Mom also said it was Dad’s fault for not taking responsibility, Grandma’s fault for not disciplining me, and that I went to learn dance for no good reason. Even if I graduated, it wouldn’t be a proper career. Was it because I wore revealing clothes when I danced and didn’t behave myself?”

“At that moment, I truly felt I was guilty beyond redemption. Why should I live? Why did I learn to dance? Why did I tell her about this and disturb her life?”

The setting sun cast its cold light into the dance studio. Deng Xingxing curled up on the floor, crying in agony.

The door was flung open with a bang.