Chapter 7
Chapter 7
“But Your Majesty’s coldness has already chilled my womb.”
I clutched my lower abdomen and bit my lip. “Ah, it’s so cold.”
The air itself seemed to freeze.
The Emperor’s fists clenched tighter and tighter. “Enough. This is nothing but a poor imitation of beauty.”
This obsessed visual-snob was about to lose his temper.
My body swayed, and I collapsed onto the floor, feigning a faint to escape the punishment of being sent to the Cold Palace.
I cracked one eye open and shot a meaningful look at Consort Yue.
She rushed down and took my pulse. “Your Majesty, Frist Attendant Lan is ill. She is in no condition for the Cold Palace.”
I pinched her palm-the more clouds, the better the shade. Just keep the excuses coming.
The Emperor asked her what illness I had.
Consort Yue stammered, “This illness of hers… she cannot be exposed to the cold, she cannot lack clothing, and she cannot skip meals. She… she’s pregnant.”
Both the Emperor and the Noble Consort were shocked.
I bolted upright instantly.
Sister, I asked you to help me, not to ruin me!
The Emperor fell into deep thought for a long moment. “I am now beginning to suspect that you weren’t joking about that rebellion.”
“No, no, I was purely bragging!”
I stood up, desperate to explain. “Look, I can stride, I can jump. I can even do the splits!”
Every move I made caused Consort Yue to cover her mouth and gasp in horror.
Finally, I spread my legs to drop into a split, only to get stuck halfway in an awkward pose.
I realized too late that I couldn’t actually do the splits because I had never learned how.
The Emperor told me to stop acting like a lunatic and said he would summon the imperial physicians to take my pulse.
As it turned out, seven imperial physicians came, and every single one of them stated with absolute certainty that I was pregnant.
I immediately stood up straight.
I’m finished. Am I actually pregnant?
The Noble Consort suggested, “In that case, it’s time for Frist Attendant Lan to be promoted.”
Consort Yue nodded. “That makes sense.”
The Emperor scratched his head. “Wait, wait. Is this child mine?”
I bit the back of my hand, my eyes wide with feigned shock. “Does that matter?”
The Emperor frowned. “Does it not matter?”
I used my hand to smooth out his furrowed brow. “Don’t you remember? It was a rainy night a few months ago. Your Majesty had been drinking and ran into me… and that’s how we ended up with this child.”
The Emperor looked skeptical. “A few months ago?”
I turned to ask the physician, “How many months along am I?”
The physician replied, “Two months.”
I corrected myself immediately. “It was a rainy night exactly two months ago. Your Majesty was feeling troubled and ran into me after drinking… and that’s how we ended up with this child.”
The Emperor: “…”
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Chapter 7
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Annual Report of the Imperial Harem
I am the most indolent concubine in the Imperial Harem.
The Emperor is currently reading my Annual Slacker Report.
“This year, your name tag was flipped nineteen times. Of...
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