Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I remember the Mid-Autumn banquet.

The Emperor had too much to drink and insisted that everyone perform a talent to “foster closer bonds.”

I didn’t have any talents, but I was forced onto the stage anyway.

I had no choice but to say with total confidence, “My backside is so perky right now that I could balance a pot of wine on it.”

Everyone started clapping, and some even looked genuinely expectant.

I stood on the stage, swept my hair aside, lowered my waist, and stuck out my rear.

“Emperor, come over here and help me set the wine pot.”

“…”

Even in his drunken state, the Emperor was utterly speechless.

“Fine, fine, fine. That’s how we’re playing it? Well, I can balance a vase on mine right now!”

He actually tried to do it, but everyone rushed forward to hold him back.

With a swift chop to the neck, I gave him a manual blackout.

The Noble Consort was furious. “Xiao Lan, what is wrong with you? I’m docking half a month’s allowance from your stipend! Don’t let it happen again!”

Then, she cheerfully called people over to play cards.

I heard that the Noble Consort lost big that night-losing an amount equal to six months of my stipend.

I spent ages gloating over her misfortune, only to realize the implications later. For the next six months, I was deep in my feelings every night.

Oh, and by the way, that performance-which had a one-hundred-percent success rate-was later added to the Imperial Harem’s list of banned acts.