Chapter 4
Xu Shaoting:
[We broke up. This time it’s for real.]
[But what do I do if I still can’t get her out of my head?]
Zhou Yanming: [Take my advice-change jobs. You’d make a great circus clown.]
Li Qingyi:
[Yuanyuan, I’m really breaking up with him this time.]
[I miss him so much I can’t sleep.]
Me: [Pay me some emotional damages, then.]
Li Qingyi: Transferred 5,200 yuan–
I let it slide.
Zhou Yanming said in a low, wry tone, “Why does your best friend harass you after a breakup and even pay you compensation for emotional distress?”
Me: “Doesn’t your buddy do the same for you?”
Zhou Yanming fell silent.
Scrolling further down the chat, I realized Zhou Yanming’s tongue is truly venomous.
[If you miss your ex, just get up and stand on the balcony.]
Xu Shaoting: [What’s up, did you call Qingyi over to see me?]
Zhou Yanming: [Stand in the cold wind all night to cool off. If you still can’t calm down, just jump.]
Xu Shaoting:
[I looked it up. Capricorns are just slow to warm up.]
[That’s why I could never warm her heart.]
Zhou Yanming: [Did we Capricorns break some cosmic law to deserve this slander?]
Xu Shaoting:
[I sent her such a long message, why won’t she reply?]
[Screenshot.jpg]
Zhou Yanming: [All I see is a wall of dignity.]
…
Looking at my own chat history-
Li Qingyi:
[I broke up with him. His parents want to set him up with a girl from a matching family.]
[I’m never falling in love again.]
Me: [Alright.]
Li Qingyi: [I’m in love again.]
Me: [New boyfriend?]
Li Qingyi: [Still him.]
Me: [Respect and blessings-sealed.]
Li Qingyi: [He even forgot our anniversary. He really doesn’t love me anymore.]
Me: [Getting older, bad memory is normal.]
Li Qingyi: [He’s not old, same age as me.]
Me: [Men over 25 are basically 60. Trust me, get a younger one.]
Li Qingyi: [But he’s still really great (shy).]
…
From the chat history, Zhou Yanming actually tried to patch things up at first, but after being tormented for so long, he started to get twisted.
There are tons of similar chat logs, but over the years, neither my nor Zhou Yanming’s attempts to break them up have ever truly separated these two.
Especially Zhou Yanming’s sharp tongue, which seems to have no effect on Xu Shaoting at all.
That’s how powerful it is when someone’s hopelessly in love.
One person hopelessly in love is bad enough-here, there are two.
When Zhou Yanming and I exchanged glances, we both saw our own misery reflected in each other’s eyes.
Me: “Bro.”
Zhou Yanming: “Sis.”
We really ought to become sworn siblings.
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Advising Breakup Eight Hundred Times, Finally Drinking at the Best Friend’s Wedding
I tried to persuade my best friend to break up eight hundred times, but in the end, I attended her wedding and drank her wedding wine.
On the wedding day, I sat at the main table with the...
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