Chapter 3

I don’t blame Sun Hui.

I’m even relieved for her.

Sacrifice sounds grand, but it’s actually meaningless.

People need to be a little selfish. Take Ye Hai, that sentimental, loyal nutcase-apart from earning himself a fake, hollow good reputation, he got nothing. He even lost his family.

In the days right after Sun Hui left, Ye Hai kept trying to make small talk with me, looking for a way to close the gap between father and daughter.

There was really no need. I’ve long been numb to family ties. I don’t really love him, nor do I really hate him. It’s this gray area in between that’s the hardest to take.

Sometimes I can’t help but think, why can’t Ye Hai just be worse-completely awful?

Like, find me a wicked stepmother, and then the two of them abuse me together. Then I could hate him with no guilt.

As for Chen Ye, my feelings about him are very clear.

Jealousy.

Bright, burning jealousy.

He’s got some real skills. Even after losing his birth parents, there are still people fighting over who gets to raise him. Unlike me, being kicked around between my own parents like a ball.

As far as I can remember, I’ve never treated Chen Ye nicely.

One night he came to pick me up after school. My deskmate pointed at the figure in the doorway and asked, “Who’s that?”

“Chen Ye.”

“I mean, what’s your relationship?”

“No relationship. Just a dog my family keeps.”

My deskmate was stunned.

On the way home, I was in a great mood, even walking with a spring in my step, while Chen Ye followed behind me, expressionless.

Right as we got downstairs, he suddenly called out to me. “Ye Ran, what did you mean by what you said just now?”

I turned to look at him.

Chen Ye said, “I heard you.”

I hesitated, then suddenly smirked. “Chen Ye, ‘Ye’ as in ‘wild’-wild dog. What’s wrong with that?”

His face turned cold in an instant, fists clenched, just staring at me, silent.

“Sorry, I forgot. My dad adopted you, so you’re not a wild dog,” I said, my smile even more contemptuous, spitting out each word, “Watchdog.”

Then I turned and strode off.

To be fair, Watchdogs are pretty responsible.

He picked me up and dropped me off at school every day, washed my clothes, cooked for me.

No matter how sarcastic I was, no matter how many indirect jabs, he never changed his expression, never let it show, never seemed to care.

The first time I saw Chen Ye lose control was in sixth grade.

Chen Ye was about to take the high school entrance exam and got out later than I did, so he told me to wait in the classroom and do my homework until he came to pick me up.

But I didn’t listen-every day, as soon as the bell rang, I slipped away.

Then, one day, I was cornered again in a narrow alley by some bullies, just letting them punch and kick me, when suddenly Chen Ye appeared, rushing in, fighting them off like a mad dog.

Night had fallen by the time he won. We slung our bags over our shoulders and headed home.

His face was bruised, school uniform dirty. He stopped at a newsstand, bought a bottle of ice-cold mineral water, tilted his head back for a few gulps, then stood in front of me and said coldly, “I was wondering why you always lock yourself in your room every night, and wear a hat and mask every morning. Turns out you were hiding your injuries.”

I gripped my sleeves in silence.

“Why don’t you wait for me to walk you home? What, you think I can’t take them?”

I shook my head.

“So what is it, then? I can protect you!” Chen Ye suddenly snapped. “You act so tough with me-so why do you chicken out in front of them? Are you stupid? Masochist? Why don’t you tell me when you’re bullied? You just stand there and let people slap you around-does that make you feel cool? Ye Ran, I’m asking you, stop pretending you can’t hear!”

I’d had enough. I looked up at him, took a deep breath, and said, “Chen Ye, I got my period last month-my first time. I was excited, scared, mostly just lost. I went to the corner shop for sanitary pads-the cheapest was five yuan a pack, but I only had two. I went to ask my dad for money. He asked what I needed it for. I didn’t know how to say it, so I lied and said I wanted snacks-he refused. I changed it to buying stationery-he still wouldn’t give me anything. But you? As my dad’s adopted son, with no blood relation, he treats you like his own, gives you money without a second thought.”

Chen Ye frowned slightly, his expression complicated.

“So in the end, I bought panty liners. You probably don’t get it-honestly, I didn’t either, but they were cheap, so I bought them. The packaging said to change them every three to four hours, but in less than two, my pants were soaked, all bloody, terrifying and disgusting… The whole class stared at me, their looks said it all, like I was some kind of freak.”

“This quickly spread outside school. That’s why those bullies started targeting me.”

When I got to this part, I almost laughed. The tug at my mouth hurt, probably made my face look twisted.

“Other girls have their mothers with them when they get their first period, but I had to figure everything out myself-all thanks to you! Chen Ye, your own mother ran away, and you made my mom leave too. What gives you the right to talk big about protecting me? I don’t fight back because I can’t beat them. I don’t tell you because I don’t want to look weak in front of you. That would be humiliating for me. Yes, I’d rather get beat up than accept your help. That’s how much I resist you, push you away, and honestly, I just can’t stand you.”

Chen Ye stared at me in silence, his eyes dark as ink, deep as a cold pool-I had no idea what he was thinking.

After a long while, I heard him say, “Ye Ran, look at it another way. Didn’t you call me a Watchdog before? Dogs are always loyal. Protecting their master is only natural. There’s nothing for you to be ashamed of.”

Chen Ye paused, the hint of a smile on his lips, and said offhandedly, “As for staying away from you, I really can’t do it. Just treat me like Dog Plaster-stuck to you.”

I stared for a second, my mind blank. First thought: this guy is a total freak. I flushed red and snapped, “If you like being a dog so much, go ahead-dumb mutt!”

After that, that’s what I always called him.

Though, most of the time, I just cursed him silently in my head.